Humility has a number of different facets to it, and pride does as well. Probably the most common one is “I don’t need you, I can do it by myself”. The reason this attitude is very common is because most tend not to see that expression as a weakness, fault, or character flaw, but as a strength of self-sufficiency.  But God made us with a very narrow area of strength, giftedness, and ability, and in order to accomplish anything of significance we need to do it with others. The most powerful group to corporately accomplish significant things with is the church. Most see the church as an option in their life, and their view of the church is so low their involvement is unfaithful to the point that they gain little and give little.

Hebrews 10:24-25  and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

These two verses are very emphatically stated as commands to be kept diligently, but most are totally blind to the emphasis of these verses, and the consequence of failing to obey these three commands.  All that God gives to us in life He gives to us through other people. He made it that way, but we don’t seem to get it. It would be like if there was one person who can feed me, only one, and if I eat food from any other source I will die. And there also is only one person who can give me my Parkinson’s medicine, and if  I take it from any other source, I will get super sick. And there is a dozen other things like that with different people ministering to each other, and others in the group have the dependency on me.

Romans 12:3-6. For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: 

I can tell you how much I weigh because I stepped on a scale this morning,  I often measure the length of a fish I catch with a tape measure. Occasionally when someone in our household talks of not feeling well Patty gets out the thermometer and takes their temperature.  We can measure and quantify many things in our life, but how do we measure our pride/humility quotient.  Humility is a character trait and pride is the absence of that character trait. The level of each character trait is who we are, it is what we are. Character has been described as what we are in the dark, or what we are when no one is looking. I define character as what and who we are when we die and stand before Jesus. In this life the various character traits show up in various ways and circumstances. Humility is best measured by how we treat people, especially those who violate our rights, hurt us, and that we don’t like.  As Jesus said, anybody can love those who love them first, and anybody can be nice to those who are nice to them first, but only a very  strong person can love those who hurt them, who cheated them, and dishonored them. That strength comes from the inner character of humility. 

Jesus said in Matthew 23:11-12. But the greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.

When we humble ourselves by treating people who hurt us, offended us, and violated our personal rights with dignity and honor God will exalt us. When we are exalted by God we gain His inner strength, we sense His pleasure in us, and we become the one who gains the power to influence the other person so that they grow and change for the better. 

Most choose to exalt themselves, that is they choose to retaliate, be rude, get angry, be bitter, and gossip,and slander the other person as a way of getting even. God is very involved in these situations, and those who choose this behavior He humbles, and being humbled by God is not a pleasant experience. 

Psalms 10:17. O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble;  You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear

Psalms 37:11. But the humble will inherit the land. And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.

James 4:6. But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

So, how much do you weigh? How tall are you? How old are you? How humble are you?  You answer that question by asking and answering another question. How do you treat people who have not treated you well? You will know the answer to that question. Don’t justify, or excuse, or blame, answer the question honestly. 

Often people will think that a truly humble person is weak, that a person who responds with gracious speech to the one who spoke rudely is a wimp, and that a person who  treats someone with honor and kindness  who has violated their personal rights is a coward, but the truth is they are the strongest of all people, and being exalted by God means you will be able to rise above the situations and see everything as God does, and understand the way God does. 

If you go back and read the last couple years of my blogs you will see that I have written about humility often. I think that is because it is one of the areas of my character that always needs work, and as I am writing for an audience I think I am motivated by the amount of character flaws I observe in others in this area as well. The Apostle Paul wrote much of the New Testament in the Bible, and he must have made the same observations because he wrote on the topic of humility and pride often as well. Of the 26 character traits that I study and reflect on and write about they all connect and intertwine like a bunch of worms in a can. Humility and pride are very much connected to the character trait of confidence, boldness, self-worth.  

A person who has a sense of low sell-worth will usually attempt to compensate by being a boastful person, and critical of others, gossiping about, and slandering them. That behavior may come across as pride, but it is really an attempt to avoid shame in their own life which is the most painful and feared of human emotions. As people work at having a sense of value the natural result is to pursue self-sufficiency. 

Probably the strongest manifestation of pride that I observe is the pull to be independent, and  self-sufficient as opposed to being inter-dependent, teachable, submissive, and susceptible. We want to be responsible, strong, resourceful and creative but not to the point of not needing others. As we grow in maturity there is a critical fork in the road where our growth bends in the direction of “I can do it all by myself, thank you very much!” God created us as people with great strengths, giftedness, and talents in a very small area of our life, and weakness, and deficiency in a very large area of our life. His plan is that we would be interdependent in our relationships and be great in our accomplishments as we worked together. Humility allows connectedness and interdependence to work well, but pride destroys it. 

I have 26 different character traits that I study and use to examine my life in detail, taking a different character trait each week to read and study about and then to think about myself in regards to this particular area and how I can improve and grow in it. This week it is the character trait of humility. In his book “Good to Great” Jim Collins writes about successful companies and the reasons that they are successful. A key reason is that they are led by people with what he calls level 5 leadership, which is  the highest level of leadership. The two key character traits of those who rise to this level of leadership is (1)passion, drive, and desire, and (2) humility. 

A major problem for many in trying to pursue humility is they don’t know exactly what it is. Often people think humility is thinking poorly of yourself, or at least talking poorly of yourself. Having confidence, and recognizing your strengths is not pride. Let me suggest 4 areas of humility.

(1) Pride is thinking I can accomplish anything on my own without the Lord’s strength and provision. 2 Corinthians 3:4-6 says, “Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant.

(2) pride is thinking that I can accomplish anything of significance on my own, without help  from other people. 

(3) pride is putting my needs ahead of or before those who are around me. 

(4) Pride is thinking and acting like I am more important than others.

(5) Pride is a way of acting and talking to others that makes them feel humiliated

I will write about humility more tomorrow. 

At 5 am our youngest daughter, her husband Aaron and their 3 kids left to drive to the airport in Portland to fly back to their home in Hawaii.  Last night when Patty asked if I wanted to get up to see them off this morning I really didn’t want to. It wasn’t that getting up at 4:45 was hard, I do that all the time to go fishing, or that I didn’t want to see them before they left, but saying goodbye on Tuesday evening I knew was going to be much easier than this morning as I watched them walk out the door and drive down the driveway.

Though at this point in my life I have experienced a lot of separations from family and friends that I am really close to who have left for an extended period of time just like Sally and Aaron did this morning.  I have also experienced  longer separations of family and friends that I love, who have  to heaven.  Because of the volume of these separations I think that I am getting considerably less emotional than I used to.  I don’t think it is because of getting used to it or a bit hardened in my emotions.

I think that over the years that I have mentally processed the pain of the separations enough so that a sense of faith has grown in me that is confident in the future  gathering of all my family and friends together forever because God is powerful enough to do it, and He is faithful to keep His promises.  The knowledge of the promises of God for the future begin as academic  theology that I believe but still more in my head than in my heart. As a result of the over and over thinking about what the Bible says about separation and re-gathering it is now just a minor deal that I recover from in a few minutes.

Again, I don’t believe that I have become hardened or indifferent to these separations because of the volume of them, but I do think that I have grown to be strong internally because of the growing faith that God is totally in charge and that I am getting closer everyday to the time when the regular pains of life are all gone.

I went Shad fishing today on the Colombia River with both my sons, Sam and Seth, my son-in-law, Aaron from Hawaii married to our youngest daughter Sally, and my 12 year old grandson Isaac. We caught 300 Shad in 8 hours of fishing. Isaac caught 72 of them, and he was one happy and excited fisherman. I had a wonderful time today, not as much from the fishing, and I love fishing, but because of spending time with my family watching them have fun. As I watched today, I repeatedly said to myself, I am an incredibly blessed man. Then I would pray,”thank You Lord for blessing me with such an amazing family”.  Thank You, thank You, thank You!!

My Dad was a really good fisherman, and some of my best memories of my Dad are fishing with him. My favorites are when we would go fish at a place where there were others fishing, but nobody was catching fish, and then we would start fishing and Dad would catch fish, then he would share with me why he was catching fish when nobody else was, and then I would catch fish as well. Wow, a  skill like that made a kid feel special. Dad would say “fishing is a skill” and it is usually just a couple of very little,things that make all the difference in the world between catching and just fishing. 

Life is like that. The difference between hugely successful and mediocre is often just a couple of little, simple, and easy things done repeatedly until they become a habit and a skill. “Success is usually the result of a few simple, easy, little things done faithfully, repeatedly, and for a long time”. That little statement is one of my written down philosophies of life. 

The word success is a good word. It is a word that is in the Bible. It is a word that we would like to describe us, at least I would. To be successful means that we are accomplishing the work God gave us to do. It means we are bearing much fruit. It means we are doing something that matters, really matters, that is making a difference in the lives of people, lots of people. What does it take to be really successful? It doesn’t take above average intelligence, a good  education, a charming personality, or great gifts, abilities or talents. 

Success is simple, it is basic, and it is not hard to do the things that bring success. But very few people are successful. Why? Successful people do a number of little, simple, easy, disciplines almost everyday for a long time. A penny doubled everyday for 31 days ends up being over 10 million dollars. An easy discipline like reading the Bible 15 minutes a day, spending 15 minutes devoted time in prayer with God every day, reading 10 pages everyday in a good book, examining my life and confessing all known sin to God everyday, declaring Jesus as Lord of your life everyday, telling your wife that you love her 5 times everyday, and spending 15 minutes in hard exercise everyday. 

As I said very few do these disciplines faithfully over time, but they guarantee a fulfilled life so why don’t more do them. (1) They are easy to do, but they are also easy to not do. (2) Not much happens at the start, you have to be faithful over time, and most want instant success or they won’t try. (3) The individual disciplines don’t seem like that big of a deal that they will bring success, they are so easy to dismiss as not very important. 

Faithfulness is one of the 26 character traits that I review and study  for a week twice a year, and examine my life by. Of the 26 this particular trait is possibly the most important for general success in life. General success is what I would call being successful at work, in our marriage, raising our kids, in our finances, in our friendships, and in the ministries that we would do in our church. Faithful people have this inner compulsion to keep their promises, especially the little ones that don’t appear important. Faithful people would rather take a beating than quit anything. Quitting just goes against the very fiber of their being, even if it appears pragmatic to do so. Faithful people do the responsible thing even if no one is looking or will ever know, because it is the right thing to do. Faithful people get a special sense of satisfaction in finishing a race even if they are the last ones over the finish line. Faithful people give security to those in their sphere of influence. Faithful people are the ones who will read their Bible every day for years and years though it would be easy to skip a day occasionally. 

How do I become more faithful as a person? How do I become more faithful in my inner character? A key way is to recognize how much God values it in us, and how much He rewards faithfulness. The Bible is full of promises and rewards in regards to faithfulness. If you do a simple word search on your Bible program on your computer, or smart phone, and then look up the references you will find the motivation to pursue faithfulness in almost every reference you find and read. Memorizing some of the more emphatic verses made in the Bible about faithfulness is a very effective way to grow in this character trait. One of mine is Matthew 25:21 where Jesus says, “well done good and faithful serpent, you have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things”. That motivates me. 

Several guys in the church greet me as “Boss”.  Actually in my life right now I don’t really boss anybody. I am technically the boss of the staff at JBC, but they all know what they are doing and have their goals, agendas, and visions, and I don’t tell them what to do very often. I encourage and motivate occasionally in regard to faithfulness and being responsible, but that is about it. I don’t boss my kids or grandkids. Occasionally I will fuss about something to Patty in regards to her driving, but she seldom does anything but smile in response.  Nobody bosses me around either. Occasionally someone will make a comment about something that they don’t like, and I usually smile and nod my head.

But Jesus is my boss, my Lord, my master, my King.  He is my creator, my savior, my God. Every morning in my “prayer of commitment” among other things I say, “Jesus You are Lord of my life, and today I will obey You, I will do what you want no matter how difficult or hard it might be”.

1 Corinthians 12:3 Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus is accursed”; and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

John 15:14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you.

Luke 6:46 “Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?

Matthew 7:21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.

A very good question to ask ourselves and answer accurately and with no self-deception is, “who is my boss?” There is quite a bit riding on the true answer to that question.

I taught on the character trait of deference in my last leadership class lesson. Deference is putting others ahead of myself. Pretend there was a parking lot with 1,000 cars in it, and the people who drove there and  parked them were all going to the same event. The event goes very late and when it is finally over everyone heads for their cars, and the parking lot has just one single lane exit. If Patty and I were there and she was driving we would be the last ones out of the parking lot, because Patty has mastered the character trait of deference. If we weren’t the last ones to leave there would be someone with more deference than Patty, and I doubt that person exists .  Deference is also defined as limiting my freedoms, my rights, and my opinions so that I don’t offend another person, who may have different beliefs and opinions. This doesn’t mean that we are weak, in fact those who consistently practice deference are some of the strongest and most confident people there are, because they don’t have to be right to feel good about themselves.  Our goal isn’t to be right but to influence people toward faith in Christ. God greatly blesses the person with deference with great authority and many opportunities to make a difference in the lives of people.