Proverbs 20:7 A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him.
This verse and others like it was a major focal point as we raised our 8 kids. Many preachers that I knew growing up had rebellious kids, and it puzzled me why that would be. When I became a preacher and we had our kids I came to the conclusion that if what they saw at home was different than what they heard me preach, the Word of God would lose it’s validity as I lost my integrity.
Integrity is me being the person on the outside that I am on the inside. It is easy for preachers to project an image because of their position. Once a person starts down that road very far it is tough to come back. You put a mask on and pretty soon even the one with the mask isn’t sure what is real.
One of the first things Adam and Eve did was hide. We pretend with others, than with ourselves and then with God. Every night without fail I examine my life and behavior for that day and confess all known sin to God. I pray and ask Him to show me the things I am not seeing. Journaling is a very helpful exercise for me to look at myself as another person as I work at discovering who I am, why I do what I do, and what needs work.
The daily discipline of practicing 1 John 1:9 helps me relax in regards to my character weaknesses, mess ups, and poor choices. I am not excusing them or taking them lightly, I am just recognizing that I am in process and will be until the day I die. When I accept myself as a person in process, on a journey towards Christ likeness I quit trying to project an image of a super saint to those around me, and be real. Being a man with a mission and a purpose that drives me, but being relaxed at the same time is one of my life mottos.