Most mornings when I wake up I groan, and mutter, “I don’t want to get up!” But I do. I stagger around, barely coherent, wondering what day it is and where I am supposed to be. I manage to find and get into the shower and usually it only takes a couple of minutes before my reason and sanity return to me and I remember my schedule for the day. I then pray my “morning prayer of commitment,” and at the end of my prayer, I very sincerely ask God for strength and wisdom for the day.
When someone says they are motivated, they are usually saying that they are energized, excited, or passionate about a particular goal or project and they can’t hardly wait to get at it. There are even some who would say that about their entire day, wow, crazy people. I used to be like that, energy to burn, always in a hurry, jumping up and down, running in place when an interruption messed with my schedule. Back in those good old days, I didn’t need a “to do” list because I could easily remember everything I wanted to get done and had the next event planned in my head before I got to it. I was a machine back in those days, but no more.
Now I make a detailed “to do” list the evening before while I can still remember what I need to do. I read it a dozen times each day as I try and figure out what’s next on my agenda. I take a lot of breaks, coffee breaks, water breaks, bathroom breaks, smoke breaks – opps, no I don’t smoke, “to do” list reading breaks, rest breaks, nap breaks, and talk to whoever is around and will listen breaks.
The fuel for my motivation in the good old days was my dreams, vision, and goals; they were huge and drove me all day long. I loved working hard, accomplishing a lot, always wanting more. I usually jumped out of bed well before the alarm went off, singing as I showered and dressed. I was rarely ever tired or weary back then, but now I wake up tired and it gets worse from there. I have a commitment never to say I am tired because it just makes it worse, but I always am. Yes, those were the good old days, they are also the long gone, never to return days.
To say that I am no longer motivated would not be true. I am very motivated, but it is different now. I used to not have to work at being motivated, I just was, now, I have to choose to be motivated, make a commitment to do something that matters. Now, it is a sense of duty or responsibility to others that is my fuel instead of my dreams, I choose to do what I do because that is what I am supposed to do. I make “to do” lists because I want to please the Lord and do well at the “Judgment Seat of Christ.” Life and work are much more of a grind now, requiring a ton of discipline and self-control.
But I am sure that the joy that I get out of life now is much greater than the good old days. In the long gone days my joy came from accomplishment, from the deep satisfaction of doing something significant. Now my joy comes from being faithful and from the Lord because I am running the race with endurance and not quitting even though I want to every time I take a break.
I can’t wait for my new, glorified body, the body that will be just like the body of Jesus, the one that will be superhuman; now those will be the good new days!