Today when I went down to my office there was another person in the hall that stopped by to ask some questions, and had just finished talking with another staff person when I came in. When they left, and I was sitting at my desk writing my sermon I decided to check  my email real quick.  I saw there was a nice response to the blog I wrote a couple of days ago. I decided to go back and reread it, just for fun. As I did I was immediately convicted by my behavior toward the visitor 20 minutes earlier. In my blog I wrote about influencing people by loving them, and making it about them not me.

As I replayed the encounter in my head, I said out loud to myself, “I know my problem”, “I am always in a hurry, wanting to get things done”.  My brain is so focused on my “to do” list, and my next step, that I just don’t think about the present situation that I am in with people with enough focus to have much wisdom or thoughtfulness in my attentiveness to them and the conversation that I could have with them.

It gets discouraging to want to act a certain way, and treat people a certain way, but continually mess up.  Can I change and learn?  Yeh, I can, and I am getting better, but it seems so slow. I wish I could be perfect by next week, oops there I go with that hurry up and git er done stuff.