Draw near to God

When I was younger I went through several periods of time when I didn’t have much faith in God’s existence. As I tried to resolve this tension in my mind my method was intellectual, that is I read books to try and find answers that seemed sure. It was during the last serious questioning of all that I had been taught that a speaker at a conference that I was attending said “you really will never be absolutely confident in your faith by reasoning. You have to experience God and you will never do that unless He chooses to reveal Himself to you. God’s promise is that if we seek Him we will find Him and if we draw near to Him then He will draw near to us.” He went on to say that “If God draws near to a person that person will know without a doubt that God exists”. I determined that I would seek God with all my heart and do all I could to draw near to Him so that I could really experience Him as much as if I took a trip to heaven and saw and heard Him. The speaker said “God waits to be wanted, and a casual, half hearted attempt at seeking Him would not work.” He suggested that those who were serious would do well to take several days, maybe even a week, and spend most of it praying and reading the Bible. I took 3 days, got all by myself, fasted, read the Bible for 20 minutes or so, then prayed for awhile, then wrote in my journal for a bit, read some more, took a nap when I got sleepy, but didn’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time. I continued that routine for 60 hours. There wasn’t any sensational experience with God, but there was a settled confidence that came into my heart that I have never lost. JBC is in the middle of a “Five Days of Prayer” for missions. I prayed 10 hours both Monday and Tuesday and that same sense of God’s presence filled me. That phrase, “God waits to be wanted” is a super important one in my life.

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