In the Bible God designates the husband as the primary leader in the marriage. That doesn’t mean he gets to decide where the family goes on vacation, or what kind of car they buy. It means that the husband is responsible for a number of things in the marriage and the family, either he makes it happen or it generally doesn’t happen.
The first responsibility of the leader is to maintain a strong unity in the marriage and the family. When a marriage and family are unified, there is joy, great joy. When there is division and conflict, there is chaos, anger, bitterness, and hostility. Leadership exists in any institution for the purpose of unity. You can judge the strength and quality of the leadership in any institution by the level of agreement that exists.
Luke 11:17 Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and a house divided against itself falls.
The devil is the great divider, he is constantly working behind the scenes trying to cause division and strife. He knows that he can destroy marriages, families, churches, and countries by introducing irritants into the relationships and culture.
But good leaders do whatever is necessary to preserve unity, to heal conflict, and to resolve differences. They don’t give up, they don’t blame others, they don’t throw up their hands and let things go on their own. Leaders own the problem, they take the blame, they take initiative, they are not apathetic about their resolve to fix the problems. Husbands that are strong leaders seek counseling early in a conflict with their wife. They are humble enough to know that they often need help as they lead. As a pastor over the years much of the counseling I have done has had two characteristics about it; it was way to late and the wife initiated it.
Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Psalms 34:14-15 Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry.