In the early years of my pastoring I used to take an older pastor out for lunch just about every month. I usually had a dozen questions written out on my yellow legal pad that I spent the hour asking, and then I took good notes of their answers. On one particular lunch I wrote a lot of notes that I kept and have reread dozens of times because of the wisdom that was obvious to me in what I was hearing. I have titled the notes, “How to Get Along With Anybody”
Whenever you have a conflict, a disagreement, or even just a little tension in a discussion assume that you are 100% the problem.
That is never true but you will be much closer to the truth than assuming your adversary is 100% the problem.
When you assume that you are 100% the problem, you will work at figuring out what you did wrong instead of being irritated mentally about the 10% that your friend did wrong.
When you assume that you are the culprit you become eligible for a great blessing from God, “If you humble yourself, I will exalt you, but if you exalt yourself I will humble you.” It is amazing how much better God does at creating unity in a relationship than we do.
Focus on the relationship rather than the accuracy of the material being discussed. When you make peace your number one objective, and are willing to eat dirt to achieve it, God will make your enemies to be at peace with you.
Memorize Philippians 2:3-9, meditate on it, and then live it.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him.