How to have an awesome marriage #7

Most of the time when a husband or wife attempts to share with their spouse about a blind spot, character flaw, or bad habit they get major push back in the form of excuses, justification, blaming, and denial. If that happens the powerful tool for character growth and life transformation that can take place because of the coaching from our spouse is lost. We all tend towards being unteachable because of our pride, so it takes a personal commitment on each of our parts to choose to be teachable and positively responsive when we are corrected and instructed by our spouse. Proverbs 5:12-13 says, “How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!”. Proverbs calls an unteachable person a scoffer, and the consequences of being a scoffer are many, Proverbs 15:12 says, “A scoffer does not love one who reproves him, He will not go to the wise.” Nobody knows my character flaws and blind spots as well as my wife, so how profitable for me if I could humbly listen and learn from her as she would point them out to me. Because we all have resisted being taught by our spouse they have probably become very reluctant to point out things in our life that we could work on because no one enjoys the rejection we feel when our spouse is a scoffer, so we probably need to encourage them to share with us what we could work on. I word it this way, “what one thing could I change that would make me a better husband, and that would bring more joy into your life?” It is then important to listen attentively, without interrupting, and without justifying, explaining, or denying, and then saying “thank you, I will work on that”.

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