One of the most phony phrases used today by believers is “I will pray about it”, or “I will Pray for you”. The typical prayer of most people is about 5 seconds long and prayed while we are driving, cooking, shaving, working in the garden, etc. Our prayers are convenient, comfortable, crisis driven, easy, and impulsive. I would suggest that God doesn’t do much in response to those kind if prayers, but they are like pacifiers to believers making us think that we did something that mattered, when in fact we have probably dishonored God by our thinking that we can spend a few seconds with Him and expect that He will bless us or others with that volume of prayer.
Colossians 4:12 Epaphras, who is one of your number, a bondslave of Jesus Christ, sends you his greetings, always laboring earnestly for you in his prayers, that you may stand perfect and fully assured in all the will of God.
The praying that we do for our Spouse will have great power to change their life if we pray like Epaphras, “always laboring earnestly”, and the goal of our praying for our spouse is that their character will become perfect, like that of Jesus. I pray for Patty every night, asking God to bless her, use her, help her grow, protect her from the evil one, and make her the best wife in the world. If seeing our spouse grow consistently to be like Jesus in character is really important to us we will give it some time and pray with passion and earnestness.
We should pray “for our spouse” and “with our spouse”. The agreement between a husband and a wife when they pray makes their prayer the mightiest force on the planet earth to change things forever. If husbands and wives would pray together 3 times each week God would cause them to be increasingly more unified, and in love.