I am not facing death right now in my own life so it is relatively easy to say “I have no fear of dying”. My faith is strong and I truly believe that the moment I die I am in the presence of Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 2:14-16 says, “that through His own death He (Jesus) might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.”

Those verses sound like I ought to be free of the fear of dying as a result of my faith and spiritual growth.

Philippians 1:21-23 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;

“To depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better” WOW, that is strong faith.

Paul says the same thing in 2 Corinthians 5:8,

“we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.”

I prefer to be absent from this old, tired, creaky, ugly body and be at home with the Lord. That sounds so right, and courageous, and full of faith. I like to think I am there now. Paul said the only reason he didn’t want to die right yet was because he wanted to bear some more fruit, he wanted to save some more people and teach them to be fully devoted followers of Jesus. I want that as well, to bear more fruit, to accomplish some more that matters for all eternity.

At the end of his life Paul said, “I have finished the race”. Jesus said the same word as He hung on the cross, ” It is finished”. It would be nice to know at the end of my life that I accomplished all that God gave me to do, I finished.

Patty and I drove up to see my Mom today, she is only days away from dying, maybe only hours. I came back home and Patty stayed up there to help and as I was driving home alone I reminisced again about Mom’s life. I came to the conclusion in my thinking that Mom finished the race, she did all the work that God gave her to do, and she did it well. When she is absent from her body she will be present with the Lord.

We went and saw the movie, “Midway” tonight, and it was a very intense war movie. My Dad was on the Yorktown which sank in the battle of Midway, one of four ships he was on that were sunk in battle during the war. As I was watching the movie I got to thinking, if my Dad had been killed during the war as many men were, and he certainly was in many situations where the possibility was high, I wouldn’t have been born, and none of my kids would have been born, and grandkids, and future great grandkids. One little change in history would have resulted in huge changes down stream from that one shift in history. As I sat there thinking about it as the battle on the big screen raged with countless people dying, I thought, I am here as a self-aware person, with a soul, thoughts, dreams, I am born-again, a follower of Jesus Christ and as such I will live forever and ever with Him. Then I thought of Psalms 139:13-16,

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.

It is fascinating to think about the fact that God wanted me to exist, planned for me to exist, and worked out all the details for me to be alive and part of His future. That is the ultimate in self- worth when you think about it. I often puzzle about the existence of God’s sovereignty over all, and my free will. I think that only an infinitely wise God could work that all out. But, here I am, wow, how did that happen!

Over the years of growing up on the farm I heard some really good advice and counsel from my Dad, and I would like to remember it all. Many of the best lessons and principles were in one short sentence or motto so they are easy to remember. One of my favorites is, “you don’t have to act the way you feel”, I have passed that on to my kids. One I got from my Dad after the tongue of the hay wagon fell on my foot (I lost 4 toe nails), and he said, “just because you get hurt doesn’t mean you have to yell”. Another good one from Dad, “Just rub dirt on it”, that is what he said when I got hurt, and had a cut, bruise or whatever. That is a great trio of motto’s for tough guys or wanna be tough guys. “You don’t have to act the way you feel”, “Just because you get hurt doesn’t mean you have to yell”, and “just rub dirt on it”. There isn’t a day goes by in my life that I don’t think of those and try to put them into practice. Another one from my Dad, “You always do the right thing, because it is the right thing”, you shouldn’t need any other motive or reward. One time while we were watching the news and they were showing a bunch of college students demonstrating against the Vietnam War and I asked him what he thought and he said, “There is a right way and a wrong way to change things that need changing, the right way works, the wrong way doesn’t“, and then he went on to say, “you change things by serving, not by acting stupid”. A great time management motto from him was, “If you want to get twice as much done in a day then work twice as hard as you are presently working”. One of my favorites was, “If you are a 30 horsepower motor and want to become a 40 horsepower motor work like a 40 horsepower motor and you will become one”. This one is one I heard from him a lot, “don’t just stand there, do something“! The counsel he gave me that resulted in my being a pastor was, “Give it a try for one year, sometimes you don’t know what to do until you have done it, then you know”. One time I called him when I was at an all time low pastoring and asked him if I should quit and come back to the farm and he said, “never make a decision when you are down, it almost always is wrong, wait until you are winning and then choose”, that is why I have been at JBC for 44 years. I was at a seminar a few years ago and heard this one and I thought, that reminds me of my Dad, “you don’t feel your way into right acting, you act your way into right feeling”. Another bit of advice from Dad on impulsiveness vs decisiveness, “don’t make a decision until you have to so you have time to gather information and get counsel, but when it is time pull the trigger, pull it”. One more, “never be rude to a waitress or anybody else for that matter“.

We have been going through old pictures of Mom and Dad the last couple of days anticipating Mom’s memorial service reasonably soon, and I discovered a letter written by a shipmate and good friend of my Dad’s to my Mom after my Dad died of liver cancer back in 1991. It was a little history of their time together in the war.

This is a picture of the aircraft carrier the Wasp before it sank in the Battle of Guadalcanal. This battle lasted over 6 months being fought on land by Marines and supported by numerous ships. My Dad was on this ship when it sank.

The Yorktown sank in the Battle of Midway and my Dad was on it.

The Hornet was in many battles and was the aircraft carrier that launched the “Doolittle Raid” when Tokyo was bombed for the first time in the war. It was sunk in the Battle of the Santa Cruz Islands. My Dad was on it when it sank.

One of the stories he told; “we were sitting in a gun turret which are mounted on the side of the ship under the flight deck. We were letting our gun cool off from much rapid firing, if the gun is loaded while hot the powder will ignite before the projectile is loaded. We had loaded it successfully before we decided to let it cool. While waiting a Japanese plane came in low around the ship headed right towards us, Duke stomped on the foot firing mechanism and blew that plane into minute pieces 200 feet from us. It was funny when it was over, but I can tell you for sure that both Duke and I thought we had bought it that day. We served together on the Hornet, the Wasp, the Yorktown, the Enterprise, the Saratoga, the North Carolina, the O’Brian and others. We spent many hours together sometimes 2 and 3 days straight through in battle at our stations. Please allow me to say and you can tell your 4 sons and your daughter that they can take great pride in being the children of Delbert Duke. Needless to say, I got very emotional reading it, and had a very difficult time reading it out loud to my daughters.

This year for our bicycle trip, my brother Cliff and his wife Kathy and I, will do an unsupported ride unless someone volunteers in the time before we go. An unsupported trip is where you carry everything on the bicycle that you need for the days that you ride. I have paniers which are like saddle bags on a horse, two in the front and two in the back.The ones in the front have 15 pounds in each bag and the ones in the back have 20 pounds in each bag for a total of 70 pounds. Included in what we carry is a small tent, a sleeping bag, extra cloths, towel, food, a little propane stove, dish, glass, fork, spoon, and knife. We will buy extra food along the way as we ride. This years trip will be 2,200 miles and we will ride it in 40 days. leaving May 25th and getting back July 3rd. We will go from our house over to the coast, down the coast all the way down to near San Fransisco, then we will go East into Nevada, then up into Idaho and then back home. I use a bicycle trip routing app to plan the trip and another App to find campgrounds to stay at. These bicycle trips and my one hour every day of riding on my stationary bike is what keeps the Parkinson’s at bay in my life, so far, so good. If anybody reading this wants to go just let me know.

We were going through old pictures tonight and I saw this one of our family in 1958, 61 years ago. A lot of history has happened in the last 61 years. I was looking at this picture of my mom, comparing it with the one taken a few days ago, and the obvious conclusion is that Mom has used up everything she had in the last 61 years raising her family and serving the Lord. Someone said yesterday of Mom that she has a lot of grit, that word describes her life well. I think of what the Apostle Paul said at the end of his life in 2 Timothy, “I have finished the race that was set before me”, that is my Mom.

When the kids were younger I used to enjoy taking them to places that had roller coasters. In our travels with the kids we have been at theme parks all over the United States and have gone on some really big roller coasters. For some of them they were really scary and others they were an adventure and great fun.

Life is like a huge roller coaster with lots of unpredictable changes. For most people the result of all the ups an downs, the swerving and wild corners is anxiety and exhaustion, but for others it is a challenge and an adventure with God.

The key for me is having a very strong belief in the existence of God, and His very personal love for me. I believe my Heavenly Father is infinitely good, that He is infinitely wise, that He knows me intimately to the core of my being, and that He is going to take me on a very wild ride for every day of my life and then usher me into His presence.

His goal is my growth in character and intimacy with Him. Because we have a free will we can choose to respond in fear and in selfishness, and then what He chooses to happen to us to make us more mature ends up making us wimps and pushing us away from Him. It isn’t what He chooses, it is how we choose to respond. I can’t crank trust up in my heart by will power, but I can meditate on His Word and His promises which are supernaturally powerful to change my heart. Some key verses that I have memorized well and meditate on whenever the roller coaster picks up speed and starts to turn wildly.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 26:3-4 The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.

Isaiah 12:2 Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; For the Lord God is my strength and song.

Psalms 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him.

Patty and I drove up to Trout Lake, Washington this morning to be with my Mom. It doesn’t look like from her condition that she will be with us much longer. As I sit next to her and talk she vacillates from being very aware and sharp making jokes and talking theology with me, and then a few minutes later she gets this blank look and wonders out loud who are the people in the room with her. She gets real tired and closes her eyes and goes to sleep and then in a few minutes she is awake and upset at someone for something that makes no sense. I remember my mom as being very strong in the midst of anything life brought her way so it is very difficult for me to sit next to her and see this very frail lady struggling to maintain her sense of dignity and worth. Life is strange, but I know even when I can’t make sense of things that God is in total control and someday when I get to heaven it all will make perfect sense.

I was so proud of my kids who drove up yesterday and prayed with her and sang to her and with her as she joined in. She commented over and over today how special that was to her.

In school the goal is to learn rapidly. We went to school for 7 hours a day for 9 months for 12 years, and then for another 4 to 8 years if we went beyond high school. We did assignments, did homework, read books, wrote papers and took tests all in the name of education. If we could somehow put the real knowledge learned on a graph most would have a relatively steady and steep learning curve during those years of school. But what about from 20 years old and on to 90 years old or however old we make it to. If we could somehow measure actual knowledge, understanding, and wisdom gained in the last 70 years of our life what would it look like on a graph? There are some lifelong learners and genuine seekers of knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, but not a lot. What most learn is what is force fed to them by life, jobs, and problems.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

Proverbs 2:2-4 Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver And search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discover the knowledge of God.

In our day and age being a learner is easier than ever. There are hundreds of thousands of hours of fabulous teaching on every topic under the sun available for free on the internet. My motto is when I am moving I listen, and when I am sitting I read. A smart phone and wireless ear buds can redeem hours of otherwise wasted time while driving, mowing the lawn, washing dishes, working on the car, etc

There are so many good books available now to read or listen with an audible version. YouTube has instructions on any topic you want to find information on.

The main requirement is to have a strong desire to always be learning new things, new skills, and having new experiences.

In my mental musings I often ponder and wonder about now and when I enter heaven, and the differences there will be in my body now as compared to my new body. When my body dies in this life my soul immediately goes to be with the Lord. The Apostle Paul says in

Philippians 1:21-23 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;

“To depart and be with Christ” which means if I die I go to be with Christ, and Paul says that is “very much better”, and I believe that for sure. When I die my memory goes with me, that is I will remember the events of this life, I will be able to think, to reason, to converse. My brain as part of my physical body will be dead, but my mind will not miss a beat as I move from one sphere to the other. I wonder if my mind will function much better and why it will if it does.I wonder if all the time I have spent memorizing Bible verses will make any difference once I step into my new body. I forget things all of the time now that once upon a time I did not. I am pretty sure that will change in eternity. I wonder how much my mind will become new, how powerful will my thinking be.

On thing for sure that I can say with great confidence is that I have no fear of death, I am looking forward to that day with great anticipation. If I live anther 20 years that will mean fruitful labor for me, but I am ready to go whenever Jesus is ready to take me.