There is so much rude and crude communication between people anymore. I can’t believe that people think they are persuasive when they are loud and obnoxious. It would seem to me that what a person wants is to be heard, understood, and valued. It is so childish and immature to think that the loudest person is the most persuasive or influential, when, in fact, the exact opposite is true. Communicating with grace really is a wisdom thing. Read what God’s Word says in James 3:13-18, ”Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Those who are regularly at odds with other people, whether it is politics, offenses, differences at work, misunderstanding, or whatever do not have godly wisdom, but natural, worldly, and demonic wisdom.
As a Pastor, one of my jobs is to counsel people, teach them, and train them to have unity in their marriage, raise good kids, and generally get along with others. Those who have the worst problem of not being gracious in their speech almost always are the hardest to convince that they have a problem. They are all almost totally convinced that it is everybody else’s problem, not theirs. The blindness to their own obnoxious behavior would be laughable if it weren’t so sad.