Yesterday I wrote about blind spots. Those sin habits and character flaws that we have excused, justified, ignored, and blamed others for to the point that we become totally unaware of them, blind spots. I wrote how we can begin to discover and conquer them, but what about helping others with their blind spots. Can we do that, should we do that?
So you have friends whose marriage is in trouble, and you can see clearly what the problems are, and what needs to change. You are pretty sure that if the changes are not made their marriage will end in divorce. Do you say something? If you do will they accept it? Will they get angry and possibly end your friendship? If you say nothing for fear of their reaction, and their marriage does end in divorce, will you kick yourself for doing nothing?
You have some other friends whose kids are terribly misbehaved, and you are certain that if nothing changes they will probably all be in jail before they graduate from High School. Should you say something or just let happen what will? If you do say something, how will they react?
You have another friend who seems to create conflict wherever he goes, and you can see what appears to be a blind spot in his character that is the reason he is such a trouble maker. He needs to change if he is ever going to have many friends or amount to anything in the work world, but he probably won’t unless someone points out his blind spots to him. Should you risk being the one who does as one of his few friend’s or do you just let him keep going the way he is.
The fact is, those who seek input, counsel, and correction from others grow and change very rapidly. It is one of God’s chosen methods for character growth because it takes great humility and God loves humility and blesses those who have it.
Psalms 141:5 Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me;
It is oil upon the head; Do not let my head refuse it,
Proverbs 17:10 A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding
Than a hundred blows into a fool.
But what about those in my life who are not seeking it?
1. Make sure you are working on the log that is in your own eye, then you can see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye. Examine your own life carefully, and develop the habit of doing so regularly. Ask friends for input on things you are weak in, possibly even the ones you want to help.
Matthew 7:3-5 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
2. Think about what you will say and how, and be very gracious and gentle.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
3. Pray for those who have blind spots that God will work in their life, and give you wisdom about what to say, when to say it, and if you should even say anything at all.
James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.