How Do You Change Another Person

If your husband or wife has a character flaw that really bothers you, what do you do about it? How are you going to fix them, change them, make them into the kind of husband or wife that you dream of having. Should you even try? Much marital conflict happens at the point where one or both make concerted efforts to change the behavior of their partner.

Most attempt to change others with confrontation which is usually very emotionally charged. I would use the word, scold to describe what most do in an attempt to change their spouse. The question shouldn’t be , “is it alright to try and change someone’s behavior”? A much better question to ask is, “Is my method of trying to change my husband or wife working”? A good follow up question would be, “Is the reason my method of trying to change my spouse isn’t working their fault or mine”?

Parents are commanded in the Bible to “train” their kids to do the right thing, to serve God, and to love God. The very word “parenting” suggests training. So it seems good that spouses train each other in right living and good habits, pastors do that with the people that are in their church. So, the right question is, “What works?” Good coaches know how to coach and get the best out of their players, good parents know how to raise good kids who succeed in life, so, a good husband or a good wife will know how to positively change the character and the behavior of their spouse consistently.

Good methods are really easy to understand and they really do work.

1 thought on “How Do You Change Another Person

  1. Michelle Johnson

    We just watched “When the Game Stands Tall” I was thinking about what makes a good coach and teacher and motivator. Coach says ” Write your weekly goals down on a card. Give it your perfect effort! Ask someone to hold you accountable!” I plan to ask my husband if he has any goals he would like my help on.. I like how this applies to marriage and kids! Thank you!



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