Marriage Matters

Patty and I are leading and teaching at JBC’s marriage retreat at Odell Lake Lodge this weekend. We are having such a blessed time with 20 plus couples that are up here at the retreat. John Ditgen and his staff here at the Lodge are treating us like royalty. Being at these marriage retreats is super and teaching at them is very rewarding, and I am always stirred by my own teaching to pursue a better marriage and never be content with where we as a couple are in the quality of our marriage. A major key to growing and improving is self examination and reflective thinking about where am I right now as a husband, so I thought out and wrote down these 10 questions to ask myself. On each question I will rate myself from 1 to 10, with 10 being near perfect, and 1 being unbelievably bad.

(1) Am I overly sensitive and self-absorbed so that I easily get my feelings hurt by things Patty says or does.

(2) When Patty does do something that is wrong, bad, inconsiderate, or selfish do I forgive her quickly, because Jesus has forgiven me of everything or do I hang onto it getting angry, hurt, and bitter.

(3) Do I take the initiative to start conversations with Patty about spiritual things in our life.

(4) Do I take the initiative to pray with Patty at least 3 times each week.

(5) Do I look for opportunities to serve Patty, doing something as simple as making her a cup of tea.

(6) When Patty shares with me the details of her day or about a certain event do I honor her by listening to her with attentiveness.

(7) Do I exercise self control so that I never express anger at Patty not even a little bit of irritation.

(8) Do I praise Patty for all the things she does for me, aggressively looking for many opportunities to praise her and tell her how wonderful she is.

(9) Do I look for opportunities to encourage and motivate her to develop her spiritual gifts and ministry at JBC.

(10) Am I faithful to take Patty on dates for the purpose of communicating about our marriage and how we can make it better.

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