I had forgotten that November 29th was the day Mom died. Still, I think I remembered subconsciously because I was sad all day today and couldn’t figure out why until I read our daughter Sarah’s Facebook entry about Mom and was reminded. When I read it, I thought, “Oh yeh, that is why I am feeling like this; it is exactly how I felt two years ago.
I have a very strong sense of and belief in eternity, and I know Mom is in heaven with Jesus experiencing incomprehensible joy, so my sadness is not close to grief or grieving. It is a feeling of loss, but it isn’t painful. As I sit and reminisce about the experiences, the lectures, and conversations with Mom over the years I smile because they were so impactful on my life.
Now, as I think and write about this second anniversary, I am sad because many of the experiences, lectures, and conversations are fading in my memory, and it has only been two years. I wish I could hang on to them, and every memory would stay clear in my mind.
Life is often a puzzle to me as I try and figure out why God made things a certain way and does what He does. But in the end it is easy and very comforting to simply say in my mind, “I trust You Lord, I look forward to seeing You, and Mom, and Dad.”