I am at that point in life where I run out of gas before I get everything done in a day and a week that I want to get done. It is terribly frustrating to recognize the reduction in my performance in the last year, especially the last couple of months. I used to write my daily ”todo” list randomly, with no particular order in the list of things I wanted to do because I almost always got everything done on my list. Now there are quite a few things still on the list at the end of the day, so now I write the list with the most important things first and least important last. I am starting to write shorter lists, but it makes me feel so lazy when I do that.
In my leadership classes, I teach goal setting, time management, the importance of ”to do” lists, passion and motivation, dreams, diligence, being a self-starter, bearing much fruit for God, and always wanting more to do for Him. Today I didn’t even write a ”todo” list. I figured it was short enough; I could just remember it.
I am still faithful on my exercise every day, I work hard at not allowing any negative thoughts to stay in my head, I rarely eat any sugar or anything else that is unhealthy, I am sleeping more in a day than I used to, I have plenty of hobbies, I ask God for strength everyday for sure, I read my Bible faithfully, and I confess all know sin everyday. It seems like I should be boiling over with energy. I am hoping that I am just in some kind of phase in my life, and any day now I will pop out of it, but my suspicion is that it is permanent, and probably going to get worse.
A huge plus I have as I deal with this decline in energy is that most of the high energy things I do aren’t required to continue serving well as a Pastor. Reading, writing, praying, listening to podcasts, and talking to people are all ”sit down” jobs that require very little physical energy. Preaching and teaching require a lot of emotional energy, but I am doing well in that area of my life. Another big plus is that my mental capacity seems as strong as ever as I study and write sermons, blogs, and lessons.
So, I guess, the bottom line is I am doing great. I will just not do as many projects that I had made goals to do. I will take out three rows of apple trees, not plant the blueberries I had made a goal to do, I will cross off doing a 10k and a half marathon, and restore one car instead of three. I am still going to fish, and hunt. I am still going to climb Mt Adams this summer. And I am still going to go on a thousand-mile bicycle trip. So now that I have processed my frustration that I experienced today by writing about it in this blog I feel guilty even letting anybody read this. Thank You, Lord, for my life, my history, my upbringing by such great parents, my family, my church, and thank You for my great health.