Controlling my thoughts

Keeping my thinking process under control so as not to think immoral thoughts, anxious thoughts, angry – bitter thoughts, covetous thoughts, poor me thoughts, critical – judgmental thoughts, and prideful thoughts takes full time attentiveness to what is going on in my head, and when a wrong kind of thought pops into my mind to replace it quickly with thinking that is good, pure, humble, and godly. Sometimes it is so easy to just give in and let my thinking dwell on an event that was hurtful, and wallow around in it like a pig in mud. I do it because no one will know what I think after all, because it takes energy to keep my thoughts herded up all day long and I am tired, and because there is a certain kind of pleasure that comes from my flesh in thinking bitter, angry, poor me thoughts over and over that revolve around an event in which I was not treated well. When I get some news about a possible bad event that might happen in a couple of days it is so easy to allow anxious thoughts to grow strong and to create fear. When my body starts acting or feeling different it is so easy to imagine the worst and to become paralyzed with worry. I create my own joy level by choosing what I set my mind on. I have memorized several hundred Bible verses, and my goal is to set my mind on one of them when I begin to think wrong thoughts, and to make that switch very quickly. When I get lazy and don’t take my thoughts captive quickly I kill my own joy and replace it with sadness, depression, self pity, and despair. After a bout of this negative thinking and corresponding melancholy feelings I wonder why I am so stupid.

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