I know many people in our church who are older than I am. Some are in their 90s and are still doing reasonably well. But at 75, I still consider myself beyond simply senior, and now I am an old man. I am reminded of my status in life every time I attempt to tie my shoe laces or pick something up off the floor. I have been going to the YMCA in Albany with Patty; we bought a membership right after the first of the year. There are a lot of other old guys in there at the same time as us. I sit in the sauna for about 15 minutes as the last thing on my agenda at the “Y.” A number of other old guys do as well, so I enter into conversations with them. As a result of my time in the sauna with these scintillating conversations, I have made a short list of guidelines for my time in the old guy stage of life. I have a much longer list, but I don’t want to violate guideline #11.
1. If I ever have surgery of any kind, I will not talk about it to anybody except my doctor and my wife.
2. I will never mention to anyone except my doctor how many bowel movements I have had in the last week.
3. I will not be a tightwad. I will tip generously and won’t debate the total on every receipt I get.
4. I will not complain about the weather, no matter how rainy or icy it may be.
5. I will not gossip about or slander anyone, especially those in my family.
6. I will not talk politics.
7. I will speak of Jesus, the Bible, and my church more.
8. I will tell stories of my kids’ and grandkids’ accomplishments, not mine.
9. The exception to #8 is fishing stories.
10. I will laugh at other people’s attempts to be funny unless it is immoral or rude.
11. I will work very hard not to bore people with my conversations.
12. I will honor others by listening attentively to their stories, no matter how boring they might be.