I think most guys like to be thought of as tough as opposed to being a wimp. I fish and hunt, I have run 12 marathons and 24 half marathons, climbed Mt Adams dozens of times, bicycled across the United States three times, and restored half a dozen old cars. So I have this image of being a tough guy that I am trying to hang onto as I descend into the hole of being a wimpy old man.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog I have started to fall down periodically. Sometimes I trip over the edge of the carpet and sometimes I trip over nothing. The other day I was working with some other guys at JBC remodeling the racquetball court into a chapel for the kid’s ministry and I tripped over an extension cord and fell flat with a loud thud. It isn’t too big of a deal when I fall at home but when I fall down and a bunch of guys are witnesses it is embarrassing and very hard on my image. What makes it worse is when they all go into a semi-panic asking if I am alright, trying to help me up.

I remember when my Dad was dying of liver cancer, how he would always get up, get dressed, and come out and sit in his recliner whenever anybody came to visit even though it was terribly exhausting for him to do so. I wrote in my journal, “the last thing that will die in my Dad is his sense of dignity.”

A positive thing in my life right now is my wife, Patty who seems to have shifted her already strong habit of affirming my macho manliness into high gear. It is very nice to have a wife who is constantly making me feel like John Wayne in spite of how many times I fall off of my horse.

I wonder often what the Lord thinks of my mental struggle in this area of my life right now. I also wonder what my Dad thinks as he watches me from heaven, probably having a good laugh!