It snowed several inches today from about 9 am until around 3 pm.  I sat by a window and watched for about 30 minutes just being mesmerized by the falling snow. Once when the kids were younger we put some black construction paper in the freezer and then took them out while it was snowing like it was today, and then examined the snow flakes carefully noting the symmetry, the design, and complexity of each one on the black construction paper.  They were incredibly complex and each one very different.

With the kids we said, this is the way it is with people. We are very complex and very different by God’s design so enjoy and celebrate your difference with all the other people who have ever lived.

Patty and I drove up to Trout Lake today and visited with my Mom and then drove home. It took us 3 hours to drive up, and we spent from 11 am until 4 pm with her, and then headed back home and got here at 7 pm. Seems like a lot of driving for 5 hours of visiting, but it was quite enjoyable. The roads were clear, Patty drove most of the way, we prayed, talked, I read and slept, and she listened to Christian music on the radio singing along with the songs she knew. We purchased a device for Mom that she wears like a watch and if she falls she pushes this button and a warning goes out to 4 different people. Hopefully that will allow her to live by herself for a few more years. I always feel good when I am able to bless my Mom with a visit and have some great fellowship together.

I am always in such a hurry trying to get lots done, it is refreshing to have a day like today and just sit, read, visit ,and sleep. Back at it tomorrow with some added adventure with the weather perhaps.

One of the lines that I speak often and think often is, “I can do all the right things for all the wrong reasons and not even know it”. I am convinced that it is very true of at least me, and it scares me. I have lived inside my body long enough to know that there is a lot going on inside of me that I don’t understand.

As I attempt to grow, to understand the mystery of Dee Duke, to conquer myself I do that in partnership with God for apart from Him I can do nothing. Psalms 25 says, “good and upright is the Lord, therefore he teaches the humble His way”. That line “apart from Him I can do nothing” is the all important one. ‘He teaches the humble His way”. Humility is recognizing the truth of “apart from Him I can do nothing,” and the positive side of humility is, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”

probably the most important thing I do is every morning to declare that “Jesus You are Lord of my life”.

John 15:11  These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

In this passage Jesus is giving instructions to His disciples on how to have joy. Not just any joy, but the joy of God and to the fullest, to the max. It is the joy of Jesus, it comes from Him, He gives it.

John 8:29  Jesus said, “for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him.”

‘When what we do pleases the Lord we feel His pleasure in us.” That sentence is a major principle in my life. The first time I thought about it was when I saw the movie, “Chariots of Fire” and Eric Liddel said, “when I run I feel His pleasure”. It caught my attention then and I thought about those words for weeks thinking, “what is it that I do that pleases Him?” Ephesians 5:10 says, “trying to learn what pleases the Lord”. I have been on that quest now since 1981 when I saw the movie and formed in my mind the principle that joy comes from Him when I give Him joy in who I am and what I am doing.

Psalms 16:11 says, “In His presence is fullness of joy, in His right hand there are pleasures forever”.

I am resolved not to settle for the meager, pathetic joy the world gives in stuff and experience, but I will strive to please Him with my character and behavior, and I will seek His presence, and use the level of joy I am feeling as the gauge of my success in doing that.

When I am living in the fullness of His joy I am able to live above the world in the sense that it does not control me, and I am free to serve others around me without seeking any reward from them because I am getting it from Him.

Lamentations 1:12   Look and see if there is any pain like my pain  Which was severely dealt out to me,  Which the Lord inflicted on the day of His fierce anger.

We all feel pain. Physical pain, emotional pain, and mental pain. We don’t like pain and go to most any means to get rid of it. Companies make millions inventing, manufacturing and selling pain killers. We do a lot of praying for each other in regards to our pain asking God to take it away.

The verse above is written by Jeremiah about his pain, but was also a prophecy of the pain that Christ experienced on the cross as part of the cost He paid for our sin. It says that the pain He felt was the greatest or the worst of any pain felt by anyone, and that it was put on Him by God the Father.

I went up to OHSU for a doctors appointment today and we talked a bit about the increasing pain I am feeling in most of my muscles most of the time. Parkinson’s is progressive so a question I have in my mind as the muscle pain gets gradually worse, so how much worse will it get, and how will I manage it, and how much ibuprofen shall I take, and will I get grumpy. But the spiritual questions that I ponder are even more significant To me. Is God causing it or a more palitable way to put it, is He allowing it? Assuming He is what am I supposed to be learning from it. If it is part of God’s plan for my growth is ibuprofen OK? When I pray maybe a better way to pray rather than asking God to take it away would be asking God to give me the strength to endure it with joy?

In the midst of those questions of mine which many have opinions on, but nobody has for sure answers on, as much as they may claim they do, I have made some commitments. I will not feel sorry for myself, not even a little bit, because I am saved and going to heaven, and so many don’t have that hope. It is only a little while and I will have a glorified body. I won’t be a grumpy old man, I won’t allow how I feel to dictate how I act. I won’t verbally complain and grumble about how I am feeling, not even to Patty, though I will allow myself an occasional groan. I will trust God and continually call on Him for His strength, joy, peace, and that I would experience maximum growth and not waste any of the pain that I feel. I think I will take some ibuprofen now, and go to bed.

I have a list of 26 character traits that I have studied in the Bible and written about, and I take one of them each week and focus on it, examining my life more carefully in that area and making a concerted effort to grow stronger in that character trait. I get through the list twice each year.  It always amazes me how God cooperates with my focus each week. Last week the character trait that I was going to focus on was self-control.

Two weeks ago I bought a 1975 Johnson outboard motor that is 135 horsepower for $100, with the goal of rebuilding it, and having a nice running higher horsepower motor for my 20 foot pontoon boat. It presently has a 40 horsepower motor on it and it goes like a slug, especially when I get a bunch of grandkids on it. I have never rebuilt an outboard motor before so I thought it would be fun to learn how. I watched several hours of YouTube on how to rebuild an outboard motor, bought an engine manual for my engine, ordered all new bearings, gaskets, and rings, and started on the project.

As I got into the engine I discovered that it was quite rusty, and in tearing it down I broke off a number of bolts. Each time I would feel the bolt snap as I was trying to take it out my my body temperature would instantly go up, and the urge to throw the wrench and say an expletive was very high. Self-control got even harder as I drilled into the piece of the bolt left and attempted to get it out with an “easy out”. I usually take Monday’s off and so decided to get a bunch of work done on the motor project today.  After 30 minutes I decided to go down to my office and work instead.  This week the character trait is patience, and it was way easier to be patient sitting in my office writing letters.

one of the discussions that has gone on between theologians from the beginning is about the balance between the sovereignty of God and the free will of man. They are both certainly true, but how do they fit together?

Ephesians 6:1-3  Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

A number of years ago a young man announced to me that he no longer believed the Bible was true. I asked why, and he quoted this verse, and shared that a friend had just recently died at 18 years of age, and that this friend honored their mom and dad more than anybody he knew. The Bible promised he would live long but he only lived to be 18 years old, therefore the Bible was not true.

most of the verses in the Bible that are “cause and effect” statements, we tend to interpret as a black and white law, when in fact most are principles that fit together with other principles which increase probability of our desire happening, but are not guarantees.

It is very much like farming. There are “laws of agriculture” that we can learn and put into practice, but there are many variables like the weather that we can not control, so because we followed good farming practices the probability of having a good crop is high, but not guaranteed.

The pain and frustration of this is probably most felt by parents of wayward kids who tried hard to be good parents, but for some reason that no one can figure out their son or daughter became a prodigal. They prayed, taught them the Bible, took them to church, but for some reason they decided not to cooperate.

Wow, it is 12:27 am, January 1st, 2017, a new year!

Psalms 39:4-6  “Lord, make me to know my end, And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. “Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath.

In the very beginning God made markers for time; days, and seasons, and years. At a marker like right now I can reflect and think about the past 365 days in regards to events that happened, what I did that made any difference, and how I changed as a person. I can ponder and evaluate how I did as a pastor, a husband, a father, grandfather, and friend. My purpose in looking in the mirror as it were is to “press on to maturity”, to teach and preach better, to love my wife more like Jesus loved the church, to more powerfully influence my kids and grandkids, and positively influence every person God sovereignly brings into my life.

A phrase that is used often in the Bible is “consider and gain insight”. To live a year and not learn from all that happened in it would be a shame. Learning, gaining insight, growing in wisdom doesn’t just happen because I live, I have to seek it like precious treasure, to want it with great passion, then I will gain it.

Reflective thinking is like praying, it is easy to lose focus and mentally wander off to something else, and even just fall asleep. The more often I spend some time thinking, pondering reflecting on what happened and why, what I did and said and was it good, and what are my motives, the deeper I can go in my own heart. The Biblical statement, “the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it”, is not saying it is impossible, just that it is hard.

I don’t want to waste any part of last year by failing to grow and learn from every part of it.