through out the day most of us are trying to make something happen, we are trying to accomplish a goal or desire, we have an agenda, a to do list. As we attempt to push through our agenda we often find that what we want has a lot of competition. What we want to happen and what we are striving hard to make happen and what actually happens are many times very different. The difference between what we are working to make happen and what actually happens causes frustration, anger, depression, burn out, and a sense of futility. The emotionally intelligent person has learned  how to control their feelings at the point where most people are getting increasingly frustrated . A simple example; you have a very important meeting scheduled for 2 pm 20 miles away, and you google it and find that it will take 30 minutes to get there so you being wise leave 40 minutes before the meeting.   Shortly after getting on the Freeway the traffic slows and then comes to a complete stop because of a serious accident. As the starting time for the meeting comes and goes you experience this tension. How we manage that tension is a very real indicator of our emotional intelligence and maturity. Playing golf today with a couple of pastor friends what I was wanting to happen, what I was trying to make happen and what actually happened were very different. Thinking about it I came up with this “rule of life”, “the desire to get better actually makes us worse unless we learn to control the negative emotions that rise up inside of us at the point of frustration.”