Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.

In many relationships where people struggle to maintain a strong unity and oneness with each other, the problem is often communication. The problem is that we don’t communicate or speak clearly to be understood, or we are not good at hearing what other people are saying, even if they communicate very clearly. Accurately hearing what other people say is a skill we all need to grow in.

A Biblical principle is that we will not do better with God than with people. The New Testament apostle John writes, “If you don’t love people whom you can see, you will not love God whom you can’t see.” People talk about “listening” to God and learning to hear His voice within us. If we do a poor job of listening to people, we will not be able to hear God’s voice.

People with poor listening skills have some common, observable characteristics. A major one is that they interrupt others when they are talking or cut others off in their haste to give their answer or opinion on something. Let’s read Proverbs 18:13 again;
He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.

Another key Bible verse is in James 1:19;
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Poor listeners talk too much; they put more value on what they have to say than what the other person is saying.

When I say “I love you” to Patty, I am making seven commitments. I remind her of those commitments periodically so that she knows what I mean when I say, “I love you.” One of the seven is, “I will honor you by paying sincere attention to your words.” I have to work at that because talking is much easier than listening.

One of my personal rules in communication with Patty is, “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” Sometimes, I will do well at that, but most of the time, I focus more on what I plan on saying than what she is saying. Good listening requires focus and attentiveness.

Sometimes Patty will say, “I told you,” and I will say, “No, you didn’t!” And she will say, “ Yes I did!!” and I will say, “NO YOU DID’T!!!!” Oops, there is that communication thing again, but you all know, that it is Patty’s fault😜”

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine.
One of the things about myself that I discovered years ago is that when I am feeling down, depressed, or sad, I can choose to act happy despite how I feel if I work at it. If I successfully act joyful, it is not very long before my emotions rise to the level of my behavior. There are many benefits to acting happy and then being happy despite circumstances. One is good health, at least better health than if you had remained sad or moody. Happy people have much better relationships than those who are down much of the time because they are enjoyable to be around. A result is that those with a merry heart lift those around them out of their despair and give them a merry heart. Another major blessing of choosing to be happy despite the lemons life has served you up is that you have more energy and your mind works better; at my age, those two are significant.
Some people will object to acting differently than you feel because it is being phony or hypocritical. Our motives, not our actions, determine phoniness. If my motive for acting differently than I feel is because it is the right thing to do because of the benefits to myself and others, then I am not being phony but wise.
Most people follow their flesh and emotions because it is easier and more natural. Jesus said, “Choose the hard way, not the easy way.” We are at a crossroads all day long: the easy or hard way. Dozens, maybe even hundreds of times, we must choose easy or hard. Train yourself to see the crossroads in everyday life, and then remind yourself of the words of Jesus. Memorize Matthew 7:13-14.

One of the key verses for my life is Proverbs 16:9;
“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”
In Hebrew literature, the word “but” doesn’t mean contradictory statements but parallel statements. So, this verse is saying that I plan my life, and at the same time, the Lord directs my steps with me.
I love to plan my life. While writing goals and strategies, I am fully aware of this verse. I acknowledge my trust and dependence on Him the entire time I plan and write. I am praying and asking for wisdom and guidance as I think and plan events for my life; today, I spent several hours writing out my and Patty’s plans for the next six months. Patty is not really into planning, strategizing, and goal setting like I am, so she is very agreeable to going along with my leadership for us.
I listen carefully to my thoughts, promptings, and ideas while writing my plans and goals. Over the years of practicing this verse, I have improved at listening and discerning as I write. Now, I feel very confident that my final product is the perfect will of God for our lives.
It is an enjoyable way to plan the future. It brings confidence and security to decision-making. Sometimes, I begin to doubt the accuracy or wisdom of a decision or plan I have made, often right in the middle of living it out. Still, if I go back and read what I wrote, I usually come away with renewed confidence in the decisions and direction.

I went fishing today on a charter boat out on the ocean. I went with some church friends and took a grandson with me. We were fishing for sea bass, ling cod, and other bottom fish. I had gone fishing on the same boat several weeks ago, and as a result of the success of other fishermen, I made up a bunch of my own lures. They worked pretty well, but I did think of several things I need to do differently to improve them. It was, again, a good day with everyone in our group getting their limit. I enjoy fishing, especially in the ocean, and I really enjoy fishing with good friends and my grandson.

Yesterday was a very enjoyable day, but it was enjoyable – intense. Today was enjoyable – relaxed. That is an excellent way to orchestrate life if you can. I have become reasonably skilled at managing my schedule so that I can live my life like breathing in – out, in – out, regularly and systematically.

Saturday, I am going to run a half marathon. Actually, I will walk a half marathon, or I will walk fast or run slow, however you want to describe it, my kids call it the Duke shuffle. While engaged in this intense physical activity that will last for three hours, I will work at controlling my breathing. I don’t want to get to panting uncontrollably, but to breathe regularly and systematically to maximize my muscles’ oxygen supply.

“Panting uncontrollably” sounds like many people’s lifestyles that I know. It isn’t an enjoyable way to live. It isn’t an effective way to get many things done that matter. It isn’t a lifestyle that results in healthy relationships. Hectic is a good word to describe it.

Controlled living starts with putting in events you do every day so that everything else goes around them; they give life stability. The two to start with are Bible reading and prayer. It is amazing how those two disciplines done every day make breathing regularly so much easier.

When Patty and I had our 50th wedding anniversary, we had a celebration designed by our kids to honor us; it was a special time for us, and our family. What would you do if you were in charge of a celebration event to honor someone very important in your life, in fact, the most important person in your life? What would you include? How would you orchestrate details and events so that it was the best celebration ever?

Today, at Jefferson Baptist Church, we had such a celebration. Its purpose was to honor Jesus Christ, who emptied Himself of all that He was as God, became human, lived a perfect life, died on a cross to pay for our sins, and rose from the dead, all for us, so that we could live with Him forever. How do you design a celebration worthy of such a person, of such an accomplishment.?

The perfect celebration will be when we all are in heaven with Jesus, worshiping Him in our glorified bodies. But today was an amazing celebration as well, and I am confident that Jesus felt honored and pleased with it all: the special music, the Congregational singing, the testimonies, the baptisms, the preaching of the gospel, the teaching of the kids, and the fellowship before and after.

It is interesting how, when you are part of such an event, you get caught up in the joy of it all and are incredibly blessed. A Biblical principle is that when we honor God, He honors us, and when we give Him joy, He gives us joy. What a grand celebration it was, a unique and beautiful day.

The event was a wonderful display of the church functioning as the “Body of Christ.” Last week, hundreds of people gave time to pray for our Easter celebration for five days; we had over 2,000 hours of corporate prayer. This week, people cleaned, mowed lawns, spread bark dust, practiced songs, wrote testimonies and sermons, tested sound equipment, typed and folded bulletins, and invited family and friends to attend. Today, people directed parking, greeted and welcomed, ushered, did puppets for kids, taught kids, sang, ran the sound, shared, and preached. It was all done with energy, joy, and enthusiasm because of the one we were honoring. The entire display of unity, love, and sacrifice was incredible, and I feel blessed to have been a part of it.

I saw a buzzard today. My Dad used to say that the day you saw the first buzzard was the first day of Spring. My Mom would say when the daffodils bloomed. Patty saw her first garage sale today, making it officially Spring.

Jesus said in Matthew 24:32-33 When the fig tree has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near; so, you too, when you see all these things, recognize that Jesus is near, right at the door.

It seems that world events are accelerating towards the day Jesus returns. I anxiously await that day, and every morning, I pray, “Please come today, Lord, today!”

Jude 1:21 keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life.

Titus 2:13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus,

Those eagerly looking for the Lord Jesus live with anticipation, faith, joy, and hope. They are people who don’t fret much about problems in life; they are quick to share the gospel with others; they forgive easily and quickly, laugh a lot, and enjoy life, though they are anxious for it to be over.

Philippians 3:20-21 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory,

I can’t wait!

We all go through stages in life. I was in the first grade once. I graduated from the Eighth grade, then I graduated from High School, then I graduated from college, then I graduated from Graduate School, and then I got a Doctorate. I once was a single guy, then I got married, then we had kids, and now we have grandkids, and one of these days, I will be a great-grandpa.

I have been a pastor for 48 years, all in one church. We started with 20 people meeting in a public school gym. Now, we have 1,500 people who call JBC their home church and 50,000 square feet of buildings worth millions of dollars. My role is changing. I don’t preach much; Pastor Mike Dedera does most of that now.

I was in the audience tonight at our “Good Friday” service, listening to pastor Mike preaching and thinking that I used to be up there teaching God’s Word to people, but now here I sit.

As I change and graduate in life, as it were, I want to do more, not less, at least to have more impact for God. I am trying to make writing my new ministry. It is a noble method of communicating the truth of God’s Word; the entire Bible is a testament to that. I aim to write ten books in the next ten years of my life. But I think that this blog has incredible potential to be the most significant ministry of my life. I would like it to expand all over the world. I am praying every time I write that God will anoint my writing and that He will cause the number of people who read it to grow. It is just like when I started pastoring; I prayed fervently that God would anoint my preaching and that Jefferson Baptist Church would grow and grow. I prayed hard, trusted and followed the Lord, and I worked like a dog.

Now, I am a tired old man, but it doesn’t take much energy to write, at least not physical energy. My mind is still sharp, and I can move my fingers. When I was the preacher at JBC, every year on the Sunday after my birthday, I would preach the same sermon, year after year after year. The sermon’s message was to pray for me, and I will become a good preacher, and you will grow spiritually as a result. I believe, looking back over the last 48 years, that preaching that sermon over and over was the most critical thing I did.

It isn’t close to my birthday, but as I pursue this new chapter in my life, I would like to ask you to help me by praying for me every time you read one of my blogs that God would anoint my writing, that His Word would be magnified and spread through my writing and that it would spread to many new readers. You can help that by sharing my blog with your friends.

Every person needs to be saved from their sins. Every person has sinned, and all it takes is one sin to be disqualified from heaven, and then your eternal destination is hell. Many good people will be in hell because they thought they were good enough. No one is good enough; everyone needs to have their sins forgiven. The gospel is what saves us, and it is what allows God to forgive us of all our sins.

We had our “Good Friday” service tonight. We were celebrating the death of Jesus on the cross. The death of Jesus is part of the gospel, an important part, but only a part. While Jesus was on the cross, God the Father reached into the past and the future and took every person’s sins, and put them on Jesus. I explaine it to kids that it was like picking apples from trees. God the Father is infinite, omniscient, and omnipresent; He could do such a thing. He took all my sins and put them on Jesus, meaning that the Father looked at Jesus as if He committed all of those sins. Jesus felt the guilt, shame, and remorse for my sins, and then He felt the Father’s rejection as the Father turned His back on Jesus as He became our sin; their “oneness and unity” was broken for the first time in all eternity. Jesus paid for our sins. He took our sins on Himself and was punished by the Father for our sins.

But the rest of the gospel. Jesus had to become like us to be our substitute. Jesus, as infinite God, equal with the Father, emptied Himself of all He was as God and became human, flesh, and blood, just like us in every way. We celebrate that part of the gospel at Christmas. He then lived a perfect, sinless life, though He was tempted in every way we are. If Jesus had committed even the tiniest of sins, He would have been disqualified from being our substitute, our savior.

After Jesus died for our sins, He was buried, and then three days later, He rose from the dead and is alive today. We will celebrate that part of the gospel on Sunday. Because He rose from the dead, all those who have admitted that they are far from perfect, believe that what Jesus did was for them and trust in Him as their savior; they also will rise from the dead and live with Him for all eternity.

The gospel is simple, free, and universal, but many people reject it. There are many reasons given, but the main one is pride; I can do it myself. Hell is hot, and it is forever. Letting our pride keep us from God’s free gift of heaven seems silly.

I have read and studied the Bible extensively over the last 50 years of ministry. I have listened to many sermons online and read many books on every book in the Bible, and I think probably on every doctrine in the Bible. There are many different views on every topic and doctrine in the Bible. Over the years of studying, I have formed a strong personal opinion on all those doctrines, what I believe is true and accurate, and what is false.

Now, the problems arise when I am around people with different opinions and views than mine. Sometimes, it is in person and sometimes online. I read stuff daily on Facebook and other places that make me shudder. Sometimes, the other person will initiate a conversation about our differences when they hear or read mine. That discussion can be gracious or combative. Over the years, I have changed considerably in responding to these differences. I have written out some personal rules and guidelines for how I will respond and talk to people with different views and beliefs than mine.

1. Follow the Apostle Paul’s advice to Timothy, his protege, closely.
   2 Timothy 2:23-25 “But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.”
2. Is this a topic or doctrine that is essential for salvation? If it isn’t, don’t get too excited.
3. Remember, a healthy relationship is more important than winning a debate.
4. Remember, you are inclined to debate not so much for the benefit of the other person or in defense of essential truth as much as in the fleshly desire to be right; check your motives carefully.
5. Is there a possibility that I may convince the other person, and they will change their views? If not, it isn’t worth the risk of alienating them.
6. Discussions on politics, Christian doctrine, and practice can get emotional quickly. Remember, you usually regret emotional conversations afterward, so switch quickly to fishing or hunting.
7. Remember, some of your views and beliefs have changed several times over the years; there is a possibility they might change again. Be a listener and a learner as well as a defender of the truth.

I went fishing last week out in the ocean with friends. It was a sunny day, and the ocean was relatively flat, and no one got seasick. We all caught sea bass and ling cod. It was a very enjoyable day. The guy standing next to me was catching way more fish than anyone else on the boat, so I paid attention to what he was doing and what he was using. It was the strangest lure I had ever seen, but it worked. So this week, I bought all the components of his weird lure and built eight of them. We are going out again this next week, and I expect to catch fish like crazy with my homemade weird lures.

I have done that a lot in my life, seeing somebody excelling at something I would like to excel at and mimicking them, either by doing precisely what they are doing or asking them for counsel on how to do what they are doing. I am not very subtle about my copycatting of their methods. I don’t care if they know that I am mimicking their process, and I try to thank them for the information.

About 40 years ago, I went to a men’s retreat with a group of guys from our church, and the speaker for the event was outstanding, the best teacher/preacher I had ever heard. During our break, I asked him if he had time to visit me for 30 minutes, and he made an appointment with me for the next day. I asked him if he could share with me how I could learn to preach as well as he did. He laughed and said, “You want me to do that in 30 minutes?” I said, “I will listen as long as you want to talk.” He talked to me for almost three hours, and I took pages of notes, writing as fast as I could.

For the last 40 years of preaching and teaching, I have followed the counsel I got that day very closely and passed it on to many other pastors as well. One of the interesting things he said to me after our crash course on preaching was that he traveled and spoke a lot, and I was the only one who had ever asked him for advice on preaching. It seemed so strange to me that someone as gifted as he was didn’t have a long line of people who wanted to learn from him.

Choosing to be a learner from another person outside the formal classroom setting is very pleasing to the Lord because He admonishes us to do that dozens of times in the book of Proverbs. I believe God blesses us in those situations by giving us a clearer understanding and working in and through the person we seek wisdom from. We all should constantly seek knowledge, understanding, and wisdom like gold, silver, and precious jewels. We might catch more fish if we did.