When I was in grade school, I was always evaluating what people said to me or didn’t say, how they looked at me, or whether they appeared to ignore me. What did they think of me? Did they like me? Did they hate me? Did they even notice me?

Then, when I got into High School, I think my curiosity about what people thought of me ramped up to fretting and worrying about my self-image. College was even worse until I met Patty, and then my fretting about whether others liked me was focused only on her. That old image of a guy pulling pedals off a flower saying, “She loves me, she loves me not; not until the last pedal was pulled off did I know the answer, but then I would do it again. Just about every time I tried another flower, the answer would be different. Now, that was a stupid game. Not until we were engaged did I know for sure that I was the only guy in her life and that she loved me. I gained a great freedom from worrying about what anybody thought of me after that; only one person mattered.

When I started pastoring, I again started with questions about whether people liked me, liked my sermons, or thought I was a good pastor. I knew that kind of thinking was unhealthy and that I needed to get control of it, but I struggled with it for years.

In my 14th year of pastoring, I shared my struggles with a former pastor with whom I met monthly for mentoring and counsel. We usually talked about preaching, leadership, and how to grow a church. I think this was the first time we talked about me. He gave me two pieces of advice that significantly impacted my struggle with self-image. The first was to worry only about what Jesus thought of what I was doing, whether I was faithful, responsible, and diligent. 2 Corinthians 5:9 became a memory verse I meditated on day and night, “Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.”

The second thing he counseled me to do was honor, appreciate, and love people unconditionally. He said I needed to forgive anybody for anything and that if I ever felt like someone was treating me poorly or was critical of me, I should double my efforts with them in showing honor. The Biblical principle of “What you sow, is what you reap” was very accurate.

For most of my ministry life, I have lived free from inner turmoil and from worrying about what people might think of me. I still fret a little about what Patty thinks of me, but she always tells me, and then life is good again.

I discovered a couple of years ago that I didn’t have Parkinson’s, but I had Parkinson’s symptoms caused by food allergies. I figured out what foods were causing muscle rigidity, muscle spasms, and tremors, and I quit eating them. What do you know, a new man! The main culprits were glutton and sugar. Now that I am paying much closer attention to what I am eating, I am noticing that a couple of other minor physical and health problems I have had for much of my life are also probably caused by food allergies. I periodically get nauseous, get blown up with gas, and have diarrhea. It doesn’t last long, but it is always inconvenient. I have been doing detective work, and I think I am getting it zeroed down to the probable culprits. I wonder how many other people have problems because of certain foods that they eat that they are not aware of. My issues were minor when I was younger but got progressively worse as I got older. I am thankful that I discovered what was causing my problems.

Many of the problems we have in our lives are caused by our violation of God’s fundamental principles and laws. Just as the foods we eat have consequences for our health, so do the things we bring into our minds through our eyes and ears. A significant part of the problem is that our standard of what is healthy or unhealthy has changed a lot over the years. Worldliness is a significant cause of loss of blessing from God, and the reason worldliness becomes a problem is because of carelessness; it is no big deal; a little won’t hurt. I don’t say that anymore regarding certain foods. A little bit matters a lot.

Let’s look at the flip side of life’s trials: being blessed. Like trials, we can be blessed a lot, a little bit, or not at all. There are certain truths about being blessed. Blessings come into our lives because God caused them, not by accident or coincidence. God’s blessings are not arbitrary or random. They come into our lives as a reward from God for right living and are intended by God to motivate us to obey Him and live for Him. There are over a hundred verses on being blessed by God in the Bible, and they all are conditional.

James 1:25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

John 13:17 If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.

Luke 11:28 But He said, “On the contrary, blessed are those who hear and obey the word of God.”

Some don’t make clear distinctions between redemption and sanctification in their writing or teaching. Our salvation from hell to heaven is by grace. No works are required; we are not worthy of the forgiveness of our sins and adoption into the family of God. But now that we are children of God, He treats us as sons and daughters and is always working to make us mature and grown up like Jesus in character. For growth to happen, we must cooperate, choose, and act in specific ways. God gives us strength, but we must still make the choices and make the effort. He motivates us to do the right things by blessing us or not.

There are different kinds of blessings in life. There is the physical blessing you get for faithfully changing the oil in your car, good health when you eat right and exercise, and financial blessings when you follow good financial principles. Probably the greatest blessings in life are joy, peace, strength, wisdom, healthy relationships with people and with God, and accomplishing something with your life that really matters. The conditions set forth by God to experience those last seven blessings are clearly spelled out in the Bible.

A major goal of my teaching and preaching ministry is to show what we need to do to be blessed by God. The number one discipline to be blessed by God is to read the Bible, the Word of God, seeking Him and seeking His will for our lives. There are dozens of clear blessings for those who love and read the Bible faithfully, just in Psalms 119.

Psalms 119:165 Those who love Your law have great peace,
And nothing causes them to stumble.

As I said a couple blogs ago, one of the worst things we can do is to be judgmental of others about their apparent blessings or trials in life. To do that is a very good way to lose blessings and to experience some discipline from the Lord.

You choose; blessings from God or trials.

A fifth reason for trials is really a corollary to reason four. We experience trials as a consequence of our poor choices in life. The Bible, especially the Book of Proverbs, is full of warnings about what will happen to us if we make certain choices in life. If we jump off of a high cliff, we will probably die. The book of Proverbs is all about gaining wisdom so that we make the right choices that will result in success in life. I have counseled people in years past who were in great despair because of their financial situation caused by impulsive overspending for years. They could moan and groan about how God didn’t love them or about the terrible economy, but they are in a deep hole that they, themselves, dug. Proverbs lists a dozen consequences that will come into the life of a person who doesn’t learn to control his anger. It also lists consequences to the person who becomes addicted to alcohol. The purpose of the trials we experience because of foolish decisions and choices is to become wise. However, like the other reasons for trials, the purpose of the trials happens to some and not to others, depending on their response to their trials. One of my Dad’s often-quoted sayings was, “There are a lot of old fools running around; just because you get old doesn’t mean you will get wise.”

When you experience a trial, pray a lot and ask God for strength to bear up under it victoriously. Ask for wisdom so that you know how to conquer it and for what reason it is happening to you. Look for wise people around you who can give you counsel and advice. When someone gives you comfort, thank them and thank the Lord for them. Journal about your experiences and feelings so that when you are through the trial, you will know how to help others who may go through similar trials in the future.

Don’t waste your sorrows.

We all have various trials, crisis events, and suffering in our lives. None of us like or enjoy them, and many of us cry out with Job, “Why?”

The first reason God causes or allows trials is to develop the character of Christ in us. Jesus had to suffer to build His character, and so do we. Everyone goes through these trials; such is life.

The second reason for our trials is so that we can help, encourage, and comfort others who will go through the same problems in the future. God’s goal here is to make His Bride, the church, unified, loving, and healthy. Our hard life experiences pull us together.

The third reason motivates us to seek God’s strength, comfort, peace, joy, and wisdom to navigate life successfully. When everything is going well, our natural tendency is to live in our own strength and wisdom.

God has goals for our lives as he guides us through life’s boot camp, but those goals will not be realized if we grumble, get bitter, and blame others.

The fourth reason for trials is to discipline us for sin. Our responsibility here is to examine our lives, confess our sins, and repent of them. It is a pretty simple reason, and we should have no trouble recognizing it if we are honest with ourselves. If we hit our thumb with a hammer, we have no difficulty recognizing why our thumb hurts.

Hebrews 12:5-6; 10-11. have you forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,
and He scourges every son whom He receives.”
For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

One of the most important things as we live life is to never be the judge for why someone else is going through a particular trial. Job’s friends got in trouble with God because they did that. Our responsibility is to pray for others, encourage them, help them, and comfort them.

Go back and reread the past three blogs with this one. Don’t be one of those people who wastes his trials by grumbling, feeling sorry for yourself, getting bitter, getting angry, and blaming others. God is a perfectly loving God who is molding us into a perfect person in the image of Jesus. The main thing for us to do is trust Him.

In the early days of pastoring JBC, it seemed that everything had gone wrong. I kept working harder and harder to fix things, but it only seemed to get worse. Then, in 1989, I started praying as if everything depended on God, and then everything started going right. Our five days of prayer are this week, from 5 to 10 in the morning and evening. Come pray with us as if everything depends on God. The old choke collar gets very painful.

Why does God allow and cause trials to come into our lives? There are four reasons. I have written about the first two in the last two blogs.

1. God designed life to have trials as a normal part of everyone’s life so that we will grow in character; without trials, there is no growth.
2. God takes us through trials we can manage so that we can help and encourage others who go through the same trials but who can’t manage them. God does this not as the most efficient way of dealing with trials but to help make the church beautiful, unified, and loving.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

3. The third reason God brings trials into our lives is to reign in our prideful, independent, self-sufficient attitude. Paul said, “so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God.” When life is going well, and we have few problems, we quickly become self-sufficient and independent from God. So He will bring us to the end of ourselves, and we will run to God for help. I used to have a hunting dog, and it was vital that he walked by my side until I released him with my voice to hunt and that he would come back quickly when called. I trained him with a leash and a choke collar. When he got to pulling on the leash, I would say,” heal,” and if he kept pulling, I would give the leash a jerk, and it would pinch his neck, and he would quickly submit. Trials are often God’s leash and choke collar, teaching us to submit, trust, and follow the Lord.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God, who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope.
When we humbly seek God’s grace, strength, and help, we will have a plentiful supply.

James 4:6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Why does God allow and cause trials to come into our lives? There are four reasons. I have written about the first two in the last two blogs.

1. God designed life to have trials as a normal part of everyone’s life so that we will grow in character; without trials, there is no growth.
2. God takes us through trials we can manage so that we can help and encourage others who go through the same trials but who can’t manage them. God does this not as the most efficient way of dealing with trials but to help make the church beautiful, unified, and loving.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

3. The third reason God brings trials into our lives is to reign in our prideful, independent, self-sufficient attitude. Paul said, “so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God.” When life is going well, and we have few problems, we quickly become self-sufficient and independent from God. So He will bring us to the end of ourselves, and we will run to God for help. I used to have a hunting dog, and it was vital that he walked by my side until I released him with my voice to hunt and that he would come back quickly when called. I trained him with a leash and a choke collar. When he got to pulling on the leash, I would say,” heal,” and if he kept pulling, I would give the leash a jerk, and it would pinch his neck, and he would quickly submit. Trials are often God’s leash and choke collar, teaching us to submit, trust, and follow the Lord.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God, who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope.

When we humbly seek God’s grace, strength, and help, we will have a plentiful supply.

James 4:6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

1. God designed life to have trials as a regular part of everyone’s life so that we will grow in character; without trials, there is no growth.

This is one reason for tails in our lives and also for trials in the life of Jesus.

A second reason for trials in the life of Jesus is so he could understand what we go through, be a sympathetic savior and help us as we needed it as we lived life.

Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

The second reason for our trials is the same as the trials that Jesus faced. If we have successfully gone through trials, we can help others go through their trials. Some people are strong enough and mature enough to bear up under trials victoriously, but many people are not, but they can with help from others. God has made things, so we stick together, the strong with the weak. The problem is that the strong are too selfish to give help, and the weak are too proud to ask for or receive help. When people receive help from Jesus and then provide help to others, the church functions as God designed it to function.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we are comforted by God.

A fundamental spiritual law of God is that the more we do for others, the more God will do for us, and others will do for us.

Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.

The more we help and encourage others through their trials, the more God will help us through ours.

One of the questions I get asked a lot from people is if God loves us why do bad things happen to us; there are four reasons.

1. God designed life to have trials as a normal part of everyone’s life so that we will grow in character; without trials, there is no growth.

James 1:2-4 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Why did Jesus suffer and have trials? There are three reasons. Reason number one, although He was God, He still had to grow in character. He was born into the world just like us, with no character. As James and Hebrews mention, to be made perfect means to be made mature in character.

Hebrews 5:8-9 Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation.

We can influence the amount and severity of the trials we experience. We have our foot on the gas peddle of life, determining how much and how hard our trials will be. How much we grow from our trials determines how much we must endure. The more we grow, the fewer trials we need; the less we grow, the more trials we need. The determining factor is how much we rejoice while experiencing trials; the more we rejoice because we trust God, the more we will grow from those trials; the more we grumble about our trials, the less we will grow.

It is very simple: God has goals, one of which is to make us like Jesus in character, and His primary tool is trials. It is like a football coach training his players to be good by having them run, jump, and lift weights.

A few days ago, I went out to get in my pickup, and a tire was flat. I was headed to a meeting, and I was going to be late. One of the commitments I make every morning in my “Commitment Prayer” is, “Today, Lord, I will rejoice about everything and grumble about nothing.” So, I said, “Thank You, Lord, for loving me so much that You aren’t going to leave me as a baby in character, but You are going to make me like Jesus.” I hoped it was a slow leak, so I pulled the air hose from my compressor over to it, blew up the tire, and drove to church. I wasn’t even late for my meeting. I was at the church for a couple of hours, and the tire was about half flat, so I filled it again using the church’s air compressor, drove to Les Schwab’s, and had it fixed for free.

That was an easy trial, and we all will have many that are much more severe than a flat tire on a busy day, but we manage them the same. Rejoice always about everything and grumble about nothing.

We will talk about the other reasons for trials tomorrow.