Several people in my life will not respond to me, no matter how much I try to connect with them. They will not forgive me for something I have done or said to them in the past. I feel awful for hurting or offending them and have tried numerous times and in a variety of ways to reconcile with them, but they will have none of it. Occasionally, I will see or hear from someone who has hurt or offended me in the past. If anything negative pops into my thinking, I immediately pray, “Dear Lord, I am choosing to forgive so and so because You have forgiven me of everything bad I have ever done; please help me to be free of any bitterness toward them.” If possible, I try to talk to them graciously and try to find something I can do that would help or bless them. The consequences from God in our lives for harboring bitterness are severe. Read this passage from Jesus and recognize that “tortures” in our lives are demons, and they will be given freedom to make our lives miserable.

Matthew 18:23-35 For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

I do not like mosquitos. When I get bit by one, I get a big welt that itches like crazy and lasts for days. If there is one misquote in an area, they will bite me even if no one else gets bitten. Did I mention that I hate mosquitos! I carry a bottle of 100% deet in my pocket whenever I am outside, especially in Alaska. I hate mosquitos, and I am convinced that they are little demons. I evidently got bitten by a spider or something bigger than a mosquito a couple of days ago because I have this massive welt on my neck that itches like double crazy. I hate spiders even more than mosquitos.

Look at this passage from the book of Revelation describing the Tribulation period. The fifth trumpet sounds and the bottomless pit opens, and these creatures come out who have stingers on their tails.

Revelation 9:5-6 And they were not permitted to kill anyone, but to torment for five months, and their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it stings a man. And in those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will long to die, and death flees from them.

This event is a God-caused event or a God-allowed event. Why would He do such a thing or allow such a thing? I think it is God’s last effort to get people to repent and come to Him. Look at what it says about those on the earth at this time who don’t know God.

Revelation 9:20-21 The rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, so as not to worship demons, and the idols of gold and of silver and of brass and of stone and of wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk; and they did not repent of their murders nor of their sorceries nor of their immorality nor of their thefts.

There are so many people today that are so resistant to the good news of the gospel. It seems so crazy to me that people can be so blind to the gospel that will give them eternal life in heaven. But it looks like that blindness gets even worse in the days ahead. Crazy!

I will keep praying.

We recently had a family member in Washington die of cancer at 41 years of age; we are going to his Memorial service this next week. This last week, a member of our church family died unexpectedly, and he was 41 years old as well. Another family in our church had their 58-year-old son die unexpectedly a couple of days ago. I have a good friend who owns and operates a mortuary, and he said that the number of people dying has gone up a lot in the last year, and a significant number of those deaths have been people under 45. We could have discussions on why that is happening, but it really doesn’t matter because we all are going to die, 100% of us. We tend to think that dying at 90 years of age is better than 45, but that is true only for the ones who get left behind because the person who died is in heaven, and that is a million times better than staying in this rotten world. I tell the Lord every night that I am ready to come to heaven whenever He is ready to take me; please don’t make me stay in this world too much longer.

I can pray that with confidence and enthusiasm for several reasons;

The first reason is that I believe I have a soul and am eternal. When I die, I will not just turn to dirt, and that is the end. God has put eternity in our hearts; we know that there is something beyond death. Some people who say that they believe that when we die, it is all over are saying that despite knowing in their hearts that it isn’t true because life beyond the grave scares them.

The second reason I am looking forward to dying and wanting it to happen sooner rather than later is because I believe in heaven: God’s home and mine for all eternity. Heaven is a real place that is beautiful, full of great things and great experiences, a place of infinite joy and happiness.

The third reason I ask God every night to take me home is because I know that no one is getting into heaven because they have been good or good enough; people get into heaven because God gives them citizenship there because of their faith and commitment to Jesus Christ. I have believed in the gospel and loved Jesus with all my heart, so I know, without a doubt, that I will live with him for all eternity. He knows me intimately, loves me beyond comprehension and wants me to be with Him forever. He loved me so much that He died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins; He took my place so that I could live with Him.

I have been thinking about my character flaws and weaknesses a lot lately. I am thinking that I am old enough to have conquered these by now. I am hungering and thirsting for righteousness and holiness in my life. When I journal in the evening, I write a lot about the things in me that need fixing. Every evening, I confess my sins, weaknesses, and character flaws and ask passionately for God’s power and strength to conquer my flesh and the devil and grow to become like Jesus in every area of my life. Verses that I have been memorizing and meditating on.

1 Peter 1:15 but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior.

2 Corinthians 7:1 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

1 Timothy 6:11 But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity.

Philippians 3:12-14 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5:9 Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.

I remember my first kiss with Patty. We had been dating for several months, and we had already set our wedding date, and I had not yet kissed her. She said that she didn’t want me to kiss her until the big, ugly, cold sore she had on her lip was gone. It was big and ugly and took a long time to heal!! She told me that she would tell me when it was completely healed. We were sitting in the TV room in the “Student Union” building at college, watching “Mission Impossible” in “black and white,” and she passed me a small piece of paper with three little words on it, “It is healed.” I remember that kiss clearly as if it were yesterday; an electric current went through my whole body! I have kissed Patty millions of times since April 3rd, 1969, and I don’t remember most of them; why?

Most of us don’t really remember much in our past because of the vast number of events and experiences we have all had. People have often told me that I have had a lot of fun and exciting experiences. I haven’t had any more than others; I just remember them. I remember them because I have written them down and retold them often. What I write, I reread. What gets reviewed gets remembered. Another great way to remember the past is to look at photographs of past events. That is so much easier now with cell phones than when I was a kid with my big bulky “Brownie Camera,” which cost a fortune to buy and develop the film for. I would keep rolls of film for months before I could afford to have it developed.

I reread my journal entries regularly and go through my picture albums often because I enjoy reliving the past and being reminded that my life has been planned and orchestrated by God.

I think that when we get to heaven we will remember everything in great detail. We will remember it all with perfect insight. I think that we will spend a large part of eternity retelling all of our memories. Even the bad memories won’t seem bad anymore as we are reminded of God’s grace, mercy, provision, guidance, and protection. I also think that I will have a perfect cup of coffee in my hands as I listen to your stories and tell you mine.

I had written earlier that I did not do well in any of my disciplines while gone to Alaska fishing for three weeks. But since I have been home, I have worked really hard to keep all my commitments faithfully. The one I have worked hardest on was my eating goal. I weighed this afternoon and was down to 211 lbs after being up to 220 just ten days ago. Super!! Not much helps my attitude as much as winning, and I love to win against my flesh and the devil. Momentum is a big deal in any accomplishment. When you have momentum, it is much easier to keep it going than it is to start it. It’s sort of like a car car zooming down the freeway in high gear. One of my favorite writers on “Leadership,” John Maxwell, calls it the “Big Mo.” He says everything is easier when you have the “Big Mo” going, but life is like walking in foot-deep mud when you don’t.

I have the “Big Mo” going now in all my disciplines, and I feel motivated. It doesn’t take much to kill “Big Mo,” a major killer is coasting, skipping, taking it easy, and letting up on the gas because things are easier now. If you are driving down the freeway at 70 mph and you take your foot off of the gas because you have cruise control on, you will slow down and eventually stop; because there is no cruise control in “Big Mo’s” car, you have to keep the gas on yourself.

I am well aware of this law of motivation because I am guilty of killing “Big Mo” many times in my life.

Another major killer of motivation in life is not being prepared for the hard times, the slow times, and the hills. When riding a bicycle on a long trip, you recognize that most roads are uphill or downhill; there really isn’t much that is flat. When you are riding downhill, you want to go as fast as you can so the momentum will carry you up part of the hill coming, and when it gets hard, you don’t quit; you grind it out, anticipating the crest where you get to coast and enjoy the thrill of going fast again.

Winning is fun; losing is a bummer.

I am diligently thinking, praying, pondering, writing, and seeking God’s will for my life right now. Fall time is always a beginning of ministry for me, and this year is particularly perplexing for me, not only in what I do but in how much I do. I have always had the problem of thinking I can do more than I can actually pull off. But it has never been much of a problem because what I dreamed of doing and what I actually accomplished in a given amount of time were close. Now I have the problem of that difference getting greater all the time. I am trying to find the balance between desire, faith, diligence, and reality. ‘I don’t want to be constantly frustrated by my lack of energy and accomplishment, but I also don’t want to get lazy and apathetic in the name of getting older. I am praying constantly that God will lead me into His perfect will for my life. I know it is part of life, the life He created, that I slow down a bit, but how much? I also know He will give me all I need to accomplish his will for my life; I just need to figure out what that will is for me this next year.

Psalms 5:8 O Lord, lead me in Your righteousness,
Make Your way straight before me.

Psalms 25:5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.

Psalms 27:11 Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path.

One of our freezers quit working just as I got home with 100 lbs of salmon, so our new one is being delivered tomorrow. We owned the one that quit 53 of the 54 years we had been married, so it was about time for it to die. Patty woke me this morning, saying, “We have no water.” So, after determining that our water pump was shot, I drove into Home Depoe, bought a new one, and spent most of the day taking out the old one and putting in the new one. I made about a dozen trips into Freres trying to get the right fittings. Patty praised me for taking care of my household; nice wife!

We all have days like this. My goal and commitment is that when they happen to me, I will say, “Thank You, Jesus,” “I love You, Jesus,” “You are my provider, Jesus,” “It is a wonderful day, Jesus,”
‘And in conversations with family and others, I will not be grumpy, complain, or feel sorry for myself or try and get others to feel sorry for me. Life is good, and the Lord takes care of us. We could live in Sierra Leone or Iran, but I am most blessed to live in Jefferson.

I have been gone for most of the last three months, but I got home last night from Alaska. I am home for the next nine months before I head off on some more adventures. I slept in my own bed last night, sitting in my favorite recliner right now, and got a cup of coffee from my favorite wife 😀!

I have a list of twelve things I try to do faithfully daily. I call them my “daily dozen duties.” When I am gone bicycling, fishing, hunting, or traveling, I am not very faithful in accomplishing them. I usually get four of the twelve done each day and most of the dozen done at least weekly.

I won’t bore you with all twelve, but a few of them are reading my Bible, praying, writing my blog, memorizing Bible verses, reading in a good book, riding my stationary bike, and praying with Patty. I excuse my mediocre performance on my “daily dozen duties” because of my irregular and hectic schedule and weariness. But now that I am home, my first goal is to get back on track with those duties.

The discipline that goes down the drain worst of all during the summer activities is “Eating in a healthy and disciplined way.” The result is that I have gained five pounds since July 1st. I am determined to reach my goal weight of 188 lbs by my birthday, October 27th. Feeling tired is one of the plaques of getting older; the heavier I am, the more exhausted I feel.

It is funny, but this one is the hardest of all my daily disciplines. I hope my desire for more energy and good health will motivate me on this one! Another thing that has gone down as I get older, besides my energy, is my resolve, determination, and self-control. Succeeding at accomplishing my “daily dozen” is the best exercise for me in growing in self-control. So, here we go!

I haven’t been able to watch any of the Olympics so far because we have no television and do not have much cell service where we are staying in Alaska. I have enough to get and send emails and some news, but that is about it. So I look forward to watching some events when I get home tomorrow. Those who compete and win the various events in the Olympics are a picture of discipline and training. I always enjoy watching people who succeed because of discipline, hard work, and sacrifice. A price needs to be paid if a person is going to be a winner in life. Most people are not willing to pay that price.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Our salvation from an eternity in hell to an eternity in heaven is a free gift, neither earned nor deserved, simply based on faith in Jesus Christ, but the eternal rewards that we receive from Jesus after we enter heaven are earned. They are earned by discipline, self-control, sacrifice, and hard work. The medals that those who win at the Olympics are not eternal, but the ones we win at the judgment seat of Christ are.