Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.

In many relationships where people struggle to maintain a strong unity and oneness with each other, the problem is often communication. The problem is that we don’t communicate or speak clearly to be understood, or we are not good at hearing what other people are saying, even if they communicate very clearly. Accurately hearing what other people say is a skill we all need to grow in.

A Biblical principle is that we will not do better with God than with people. The New Testament apostle John writes, “If you don’t love people whom you can see, you will not love God whom you can’t see.” People talk about “listening” to God and learning to hear His voice within us. If we do a poor job of listening to people, we will not be able to hear God’s voice.

People with poor listening skills have some common, observable characteristics. A major one is that they interrupt others when they are talking or cut others off in their haste to give their answer or opinion on something. Let’s read Proverbs 18:13 again;
He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.

Another key Bible verse is in James 1:19;
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Poor listeners talk too much; they put more value on what they have to say than what the other person is saying.

When I say “I love you” to Patty, I am making seven commitments. I remind her of those commitments periodically so that she knows what I mean when I say, “I love you.” One of the seven is, “I will honor you by paying sincere attention to your words.” I have to work at that because talking is much easier than listening.

One of my personal rules in communication with Patty is, “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” Sometimes, I will do well at that, but most of the time, I focus more on what I plan on saying than what she is saying. Good listening requires focus and attentiveness.

Sometimes Patty will say, “I told you,” and I will say, “No, you didn’t!” And she will say, “ Yes I did!!” and I will say, “NO YOU DID’T!!!!” Oops, there is that communication thing again, but you all know, that it is Patty’s fault😜”