Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
99% of the conflicts I find myself in could have been prevented if I had applied this Proverb to my life. My justification to myself after a conflict is that the other person started it; that is, they spoke a harsh word to me and provoked me to anger. But the Proverb still applies to me; I need to respond with a gentle answer, and the inevitable conflict will be avoided. Almost all of the tense conversations that I have had with Patty could have been avoided if I had followed this fundamental relational principle. I know this principle, but I violate it repeatedly, and afterward, I am always sorry and repentant, but I do it again. I am making progress. I do it way less than I used to, but you would think that after 54 years of marriage, I would be perfect on this one.
As I get involved with marriages and other people’s relational problems as a Pastor, I have concluded that not only are my conflicts 99% because I violate this principle, but everyone else’s is as well.
My pride is the problem; I am right, and she is wrong, so I shouldn’t have to be the one who responds graciously. Sheesh! That last sentence looks so immature, so stupid, I was tempted to write it as everyone else’s problem, but not mine, but Patty reads these blogs.