I have a characteristic that I have valued and liked in myself in the past years of my life and that was the joy I got out of living life on the edge. Not living life on the edge of danger but living life on the edge of failure. I guess I wouldn’t call it joy, just a sort of high, a sense and feeling that is the opposite of boring.

Riding a motorcycle 9,000 miles in 30 days hitting all lower 48 states, camping every night, when up until a couple of months before I left on the trip I had never ridden a motorcycle before. Running two marathons and 4 half marathons a year for ten years with the goal of qualifying for the Boston marathon before I was 60, which I never did accomplish. Building a 900 seat sanctuary with cash, no loans and with all volunteer labor. Riding a bicycle twice to Fairbanks, Alaska, three times across the nation from coast to coast and a half dozen other trips of 2,000 miles or more. Making a goal of growing our church to 2000 people by the year 2000, we didn’t even come close to that goal. Making a goal of starting 10 daughter churches between the year 2000 and 2020, we almost made that goal. Starting 100 churches is Sierra Leone, West Africa before I die, that one is in process. Setting over 60 personal goals every year for the last 15 years, and of the 60 plus goals each year ten have been nearly impossible to accomplish.

Over the last 60 years of my life I have failed at more goals and adventures that I have started than I have accomplished, and some of them were major failures. I broke away from the security of farming with my Dad on the family dairy to start my own dairy and failed miserably. I attempted twice to start a small business that would support my family so I wouldn’t need to take a salary from the church so we could put the money back into ministry and failed both times. At least one third of my goals each year I don’t accomplish.

So, I am anything but a successful person, but I have enjoyed life to the max. I have always felt very confident in the beginning stages of all my goals that they were the will of God for my life and that I could accomplish them, and when I didn’t accomplish many of them I never felt like a failure because my definition of success was in trying to accomplish them not necessarily in accomplishing them, though I definitely wanted to accomplish all of my goals, and gave all of them my best shot.

Now at 75 years of age I would like to live life without that constant push to accomplish more which I have lived with all of my life. Just to relax and sleep into 9:00 am every morning with no “to-do” lists driving me crazy. I have tried really hard to relax and take it easy, but life gets so boring when it gets easy and comfortable and I hate boring. Oh well , I will try again when I hit 80.