I haven’t written a blog on the topic of bitterness for a few years, which is surprising because I see so much of it in the world, inside the church and outside, and I see all the damage it does, especially in families.

A man and a woman get married, buy a house, have children, raise them, take them to school, watch their volleyball games, take them to Disneyland, buy them shoes, help them pay for college, pay for weddings, and then something happens and no one speaks to each other ever again. It is incredibly sad, but it happens a lot. I have come to the conclusion after nearly 50 years pastoring that bitterness is the number one problem in the church and in our society.

Colossians 3:12-13 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

That is a pretty clear command from God, “forgiving each other whoever has a complaint against anyone.” I point out to people periodically that they are living in bitterness and that they need to forgive the person that they are tied up in knots over if they want God’s blessing in their life. That rarely goes well, you would think that I was asking them to forgive the devil himself. It is amazing how bitterness blinds people to the seriousness of what they are feeling, thinking, and doing, and how easily they justify what God has clearly condemned.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

The consequences of failing to forgive anybody and everybody of anything and everything are huge. How can we function without God’s continual forgiveness of our sins and mess ups? To forgive someone doesn’t mean that I condone what they did, but it does mean that I get rid of the resentment and anger that swirls around in my head for days, weeks, and months.

People often say to me, “well, you might forgive them, but you never forget!” All it takes for me to forget is every time my mind goes into resentment mode replaying the mean, awful, disgusting, despicable, selfish, inconsiderate, hurtful thing they did to me I set my mind on the verses above, reciting them, thinking about them, and meditating on them. It is amazing how powerful God’s Word is to heal us from the inside out, that is, if we want to be healed.