This afternoon I was watching some sermons of a couple of pastors who I am coaching and periodically giving them some feedback and suggestions on how to improve their preaching. One of the things that I always recommend to all preachers is to watch their sermons. Even though I recommend that to others, I always hated watching mine and often found excuses for not taking the time to do it. I saw and heard so many things that I needed to change and work on, and it made me so discouraged that I was still such a lousy preacher and teacher after all this time. It always amazed me that I could be so blind to my faults while preaching but could see them quickly when I watched and listened to myself on video.

I know the same thing is true for me in everyday life while talking to others, living with them, having dinner with them, fishing, and working with them. I know I say and do things that are hurtful, prideful, self-serving, stupid, and not enjoyable for others, but I am not aware of it. It would be cool if the Lord would give me a video of an evening spent with others that I could watch and listen to myself. I would witness many things I needed to work on and change. I also know that the shock of seeing who I am and how I sound might drive me to be a hermit.

One part of my job and calling is to encourage and help people to change their behavior and to grow in character. The most significant barrier I face in doing that is most people don’t see their character flaws and behavioral weaknesses, and they are very resistant and defensive to finding them out. There is comfort in thinking that we are OK; it is everyone else with the problems.

One of the things that Jesus taught that speaks loudly to my heart every time I read it was, “If you are attempting to take a splinter out of a brother’s eye, take the log out that is in your eye first, then you can see to help your brother.” If I don’t work very hard at self-examination and character and behavioral growth, I will not be helpful to others in their development. Self-examination is brutal because our flesh is so prideful and defensive, even to me. I wish it were as easy as looking in the mirror and seeing some meat stuck in my teeth or looking down and seeing my zipper open.

It basically boils down to a relentless pursuit of humility. “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

(By the way, I stayed in my recliner last night and didn’t go fishing.)