Hyper Sensitive

I try very hard to get along with every person in my life, but there are a few that are a major challenge. It isn’t that they upset me, but that I am regularly offending them. I try very hard not to, but it doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try, I still do things, and say things that hurt their feelings. There are 2 problems, the first is these people are hyper sensitive to slights, words or deeds that put them down . The second problem is that I am very focused in my thinking, so when I am thinking about something I don’t notice things around me, and if I happen to be around some of these sensitive people they regularly interpret my lack of attentiveness toward them as I don’t like them, or I am upset with them, or whatever. I eventually hear about “our problems”, and go and see if I can reconcile with them by “eating dirt”, that is I take all the blame and al the responsibility for the relational difficulty. I usually get things worked out between us until the next time. It isn’t like a weekly event or anything like that, more like twice a year. If it were weekly I probably would stop all mental activity any time I was around them so I wouldn’t goof up . I have thought about this challenge in my life and ministry, and I have come to the conclusion that I need to practice what Jocko Willink calls “Extreme Ownership”, which means I own the responsibility 100% of every relational failure in my life, the little hiccups and the full blown, major conflicts. The result in my life according to Jocko in his book, “Extreme Ownership” is that I will grow rapidly in character, and I will grow in the skill of being able to do two things at once, that would be nice.

2 thoughts on “Hyper Sensitive

  1. WILLIAM LEE Snyder

    “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 Each one of us, me included, needs to resist becoming offended. It’s a tool of the enemy. Sure we all have different personalities. Some are more sensitive while others have a thick skin. The church isn’t one way, all the thick skinned must become as sensitive as the most sensitive. Both need to work at relationship, toward conforming to the likeness of Christ. Jesus was sensitive to the needs of children, to those he healed but he also had a thick skin and could take a beating without crumbling. Pastors are sinners just like you and me. We all fail. And we all like to be lifted up, dusted off and encouraged like Jesus did when he said, “neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more” to the woman caught in adultery. I hear a lot of judging coming from people who say don’t judge me. The church should be going through seasons. The sick and broken come in, get renewed by the presence of Jesus, discipleship takes place, in turn they begin helping those who were once like them…broken. I was one such misfit in my teens and twenties. Too much baggage for any one person to deal with. How did I change? When I was confronted about my own self-absorption and simply encouraged to start to encourage others every chance I got, I gained perspective, a new attitude and God began to work on the grip on my baggage. It’s not the job of every pastor to manage all of the sick and wounded in the ward of brokenness. It’s a two sided freeway of love coming from the Father through a brother or sister to the wounded and then back to the Father as an offering of gratitude. Practice gratitude in every situation and offense will have less and less of a foothold for the enemy in our lives.

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  2. benhickenlooper

    ““Extreme Ownership”, which means I own the responsibility 100% of every relational failure in my life, the little hiccups and the full blown, major conflicts.” Dee, I like your other way of saying the same thing: “Eat dirt.”

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